Today I need to share something with you. As a blogger and friend-in-real-life to many of you, I really care about what I write on here and how much of my life I share. Everything I write on here is all true – but there’s definitely parts of my life that can’t make it onto my blog for several reasons.
I’ve been writing this post in my head for months, and it’s finally the right time to publish it now that my plans are set in stone.
Next weekend I will be moving to BOSTON!
You’re thinking: Christine, don’t you LOVE New York City? Who in their right mind moves away from NYC? Aren’t you obsessed with Central Park? How will you race if it’s not with New York Road Runners? Won’t you miss the city, your friends here and your free pizza hookup?
Of course – the answer is a resolute yes to all of the above.
I will miss my NYC friends the most.
Right from the start, I was lucky to have so many Holy Cross friends living in the city – and so many who wanted to visit here. I was lucky to meet lifelong friends at my first job. I was lucky to meet via the Internets AND meet in real life some of the most amazing runner-blogger girls in the city.
In honesty, I never expected to make any new friends when I moved down here.
Leaving them/YOU is not going to be easy.
But I’m grateful for things like telephones, emails, blogs, tweets, and plans for visits and meet-ups in other cities for races. This is not goodbye, just see ya later. :-)
In all of this, I have to be true to myself. And the truth is, I have been getting burnt out by several things that started to add up.
I was never completely satisfied with my job. It’s a good job – but it is not for me. The plan is to launch my career in full force in Boston. Post on that to come.
I also never got the feeling that I had a good work-to-life balance.
I was always stressed out about rushing to and from work. I felt guilty that I wasn’t staying super late every night, even though I would get all of my work done and met my deadlines. I thrive on the “life” part of that balance too. It’s where I find my best self.
Once I got back to my apartment at the end of the day, I’d barely enjoy my run – I’d get sick to my stomach thinking about how there was no way I’d be able to shower, write, cook dinner, clean, etc. and get into bed before 2AM. And happy hour or dinner with friends or actually relaxing at night? No time. Ever.
On top of that, since I graduated, I haven’t been able to save any money. Every dime (and there have not been too many dimes in the first place!) has gone to my rent, food, metro card, laundry – and of course local races and the occasional night out in the city with friends (both of which I would not be able to give up if I decided to stay).
I did a pretty good job of making ends meet and cutting out a lot of basic stuff, but I have been unhappy with this struggle.
I want to save more money for things I need and want in life. I want to relieve my parents of paying off my student loan debt. I want be able to sign up for road races and not worry about my bank account. I want to buy some new clothes (mine are still so college) and not feel guilty. I want to be able to say “yes” to a vacation. I want to be in a better position to possibly finance grad school. I want to have a little nest egg for my future.
Unfortunately, I can not do any of this in NYC right now.
When it came time to decide if I would renew the lease, it broke my heart to realize that signing on for another year of these struggles was not something I could do. Staying for another year would have been the easier thing to do.
At first, I was sad!
I mean, I’ve lived in this city for a year and a half and interned here for two summers in college. It’s where I “grew up” and matured and found my independence and made my home-away-from-home.
My real home is in Boston of course. And I am SO HAPPY to be moving to where my whole family is. I’ve missed out on a lot of family things over the years I was in New York. I’m especially excited to see a lot more of the two loves of my life, Alana and Courtney. And I’m hoping a certain man friend will be in Boston at some point.
I can only hope this makes sense.
It was a TOUGH decision. Even though I am a bit of a wanderlust, the decision process was not at all casual. It was months of weighing the pros and cons and praying that whatever was meant to be would be.
When I finally made the decision, one of the first things I thought about was how I’d come clean about it on the blog.
I’d never want you to think that I wasn’t being honest about what I’ve written. Yes, it was a dream of mine to come back here after graduation. Yes, I’ve had so much fun here. Yes, I still LOVE NYC. You saw that. Many times.
The stuff you haven’t seen is how unsatisfied I’ve been with my work-life balance and finances… stuff I choose not to blog about.
Even still, I do not regret accepting a job offer in May 2010 and moving here 2 weeks after graduation. This city has made me grow up and realize what I truly want out of life. It’s enabled me to make new friends easily and helped me rediscover my passion for running. It’s challenged me in unexpected ways.
There will be SO many things I will miss. Post to come on that one too.
But, there are even more things I’m looking forward to in Boston and the adventures I know I will have. The plan for now is to move home for a little while and get settled with my job situation – I’m grateful for that! I haven’t lived at home for more than a couple of weeks since before sophomore year of college so yes it will be an adjustment. My parents are pretty cool though and I like hanging out with them.
I’m looking forward to getting to know Boston too, as well as reconnecting with old friends and college friends and meeting Boston bloggers.
Boston peeps, let’s be friends. And NYC friends, I love visitors! Please please please let me know whenever you find yourself in Boston.
And if I could find a running path as magical as the Central Park loop and figure out how to bring my free pizza charms to Boston, I think it’d be all good.
As always, thank you for reading and for listening. I hope you’ll want to keep tagging along and visiting my little corner of the Internet. I know I don’t have to justify my decision to anyone, but I wanted you to see where I was coming from. And also, your support always means the world to me.