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Momma Multisport-a race report of another kind

Posted Jan 12 2011 8:08am
The Swim: wrangle two kids into the bathtub. Tell 4 year (kid #1) old 5 times in a row that "you can't swim laps in the bathtub while your brother is in there" (ie, the 2 year old, kid #2) Get completely soaked while trying to shampoo the splashing super heros. Take in an unexpected mouth full of water from a Thomas the Tank Engine squirt toy.

T1: in a well practiced manner, take both kids out, dry and dress kid #2 while kid #1 runs naked laps around the house. Wonder if I shut the curtains in the living room? dry and dress kid #1. Supervise teeth brushing and then take over when cavity fighting is replaced by sword fighting with the toothbrush. Put kid #2 in bed, thank your lucky stars that he loves his routine and goes to bed like clockwork. Set up Thomas the Tank engine DVD on the computer for kid #1. Change my own wet shirt, bike shorts on, bike shoes on, TV set to The Biggest Loser, get on bike trainer. Transition time? 30 minutes.

The Bike: 5 minutes in: "MOM, what are you DOING in here? Riding your bike? I thought you were going to bed. Oh hey, look Mom , your show is on. The Biggest Wooooser. Mom look, Mom, it's the Biggest Woooser. Mom, are you watching? It's your show mom. The work it out show. I'm strong with big muscles, wanna know why Mom? Because I drink all of my milk. And I do crunches. Ok bye mom!"

10 minutes in: "MOOOMM you will NEVER GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED!! Diesel 10...."(I'll spare you the probably 5 minute summary I was given of the adventures on Sodor Island

18 minutes in : "Mom, can I have some juice?" Me:" When Mommy is done, give me 12 more minutes" Kid #1 " TWELVE MINUTES?!" (sigh, stomp off, is he 4 or 16?)

20 minutes in: "Has it been 12 minutes yet? HEY I can ride my bike too!" Disappears, reappears on the bike . Does about 5 laps up and down the hallway with a u-turn in my room.

22 minutes in: "Juice now?" I inform him he has 8 more minutes, to which he replies " 8 more minutes?!?! But I'm so thiiiirrrstyyy I think I'm going to diiiiieee" (rides off down the hall)

23 minutes in: (from down the hall) "Moooommmm can you rewind Thomas? I wanna see the part where Diesel pushes the logs off the cliff! Mommm? Mooooommm!"

25 minutes in: front row seat (on my bike) to a reenactment of previously mentioned logs off the cliff scene. Are little boys just built in with a sound effect gene? Lots of explosions here.

27 minutes in: Thomas reenactment turns into a preschool gymnastics/yoga demonstration. "See this mom? Look at my somersault! And now my tree pose! Are you watching me? Why are you still riding your bike? When are you going to get me juice?"

Bike split: 30 minutes

T2: Bike shoes off. Get kids juice, change DVD to requested scene. Ask kid #1 if there is ANYTHING else, ANYTHING at all he needs, because mommy is going to get on the treadmill now. Kid #1 says no, and yes, he is sure. Sneakers on, pull firetruck and Wall-E robot toy off of the treadmill. Get on treadmill T2 time: 5 minutes

1 minute in (yelled from other room) "Mom, I forgot to tell you that I need a snack because I'm STARVING!!!"

3 minutes in (peeks his head in the room) "WHAT?!?!" (in shock) "now your runnin on your treadmill?!? That's just crazy mom!"

4, 4.5, 5 5.5 minutes in: laps on his bike, complete with sound effects.
6 minutes in, I quit because of knee pain.

Kid #1 pops his head in ... "Oh, you're done already? That wasn't so bad!"

Never a dull moment, never ever!

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