Henry David Thoreau that is. I’m starting to think that guy had it right (and he’s a writer so what’s not to love?) In [very] short, Thoreau was an American author, poet, philosopher, abolitionist, naturalist, tax resister, development critic, surveyor, historian, and leading transcendentalist. He filled a lifelong Journal — thousands of pages — with feelings as well as factual observations. He’s the most quoted American author, was a free-thinker, a minimalist and philosopher. His famous experiment in living close to nature, and his equally famous night in jail to protest an inhuman institution and an unjust war, are distilled in his best known works, Walden and “Civil Disobedience.” He mattered because he offers a wealth of thought and insight for people today – for me.
I am done living in the past. Wondering, worrying that if I had “done something different” this or that could have been prevented. I’m done living my life for people and worrying about what they think about me. I am who, I am. And I do have a lot to give, to say, to learn. I am loveable, just the way I already am. I’m not perfect – I have a lot to learn and some growing to do – but, I am me. Take me or leave me for who I am.
And maybe sometimes, it’s okay that people come and go in my life. It wasn’t something I did wrong (or right) or something I should have done, would have done or could of done – it just is.
And sometimes, there is just nothing we can do, but say goodbye and find peace in that instead of always looking for a reason why. But, it doesn’t make it hurt any less and maybe that is okay too.
It hasn’t been easy (actually, it’s been a work in progress), but I’ve come up with some goals for 2013. Not stick-with-them-or-you’re-a-failure-for-the-rest-of-your-days resolutions, but thinks I want to see, think, learn, be. Starting with simply, to start living the life I imagine.
Here is what I am thinking:
I don’t care when (as long as it isn’t too soon as I am still recovering, so maybe the summer) and I don’t care where (although I am thinking Emerald City, my favorite race), but I will run a half marathon this year. Emerald City 2013 sounds like it might be a good place to start.
Yes, I do have a lot to say. A lot has happened. A lot will happen in the years I have left. I’m constantly hearing “you should write a book” – whether it be because my life is that unbelievable or that unlucky or both – I’m going to write about it. No more talking about it, I’m just going to do it and publish it (e-book or otherwise) and put it in print.
I have two on back burners. They’ve been there for a few months now. One of them is coming to the forefront this year! I want to help other people like me – whether it be in getting healthy and achieving the once thought to be impossible through running or be it surviving something as horrible as a blood clot in the lung. There are people who need help. I want to be the one to help them.
There is a lot to find in nature. Maybe even myself. I get tired of the city, the busy, the sounds and sights. The most beautiful things in this life are not made by man in concrete landscapes, they are created by God on the canvas of nature. There is beauty to be seen around us, but I think we forget to look.
With my husband. I don’t know how many miles it is or how many days it would take, but we’re going to do it. Some may call it, well, weird, but I want to try.
This is going to be a big challenge, but I think it will be worth it. I want to eliminate all of the CRAP from my life – it’s not good for us, it never has been and it never will be. Just about everything in the American diet has too much sugar, refined or highly processed carbs in it. It’s not healthy. To eat it is to not take care of ourselves. This will be a long road for me as I have always struggled with food, weight and control. I am not giving up. I also need to drink more water everyday and take my vitamins everyday.
2012 was a health storm. Hell, even my doctor described it as such, how’s that for medical terminology? I don’t want to go through that again – or any other major health crisis. While I couldn’t control what happened (and I am not going to feel guilty anymore about that), I want to take care of the body that I have now.
For people who have faced, are facing, will face or know someone who has, is, will face a blood clot. More people must know. I want to tell everyone. There. Is. Hope for a better tomorrow. We can find it together.
I like it. It does what I want. It is only slightly counter-intuitive to me. I just need to practice and use it to store everything – especially as I am writing my book!
I want to be a writer. This means I need to write more. Whether it be here, another blog, in print or in a journal – this year I will keep writing about everything. This includes updating my blog(s) more, journaling everyday and maybe jopefully paying the bills with writing someday. And, I want to Read Henry – everything he wrote.
I want to be true to to my work, my word, and my friends. I want to be true to myself.
And my love-
But, even more than that, I want to be kind and speak softly to everyone I see in 2013. I will treasre my family too because you never know-
And, at the end of everyday, I can’t ever be ruined-