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Kelly's Closet Clothes Blog ...

Posted Jun 13 2009 12:00am
Kelly's Closet Clothes Blog

Now here's something I haven't blogged about, for all you people sick of my running posts, a blog about the current state of women's clothing. I had another day off from work, so I thought I better take advantage of my favorable mood and hit the mall. I love to wear nice clothes, but I'm extremely picky and combined with the fact that I'm impatient, cheap, and hate to shop--I'm often frustrated. I really needed something new for work and I really needed to replace my tattered collection of crotchless panties; rendered that way by my underwear-eating dachshund. This disgusting habit infuriates me to no end. The sight of that dog hunkering down behind the couch with a pair of my comfy $8.00 a pair underwear is enough to send my red-headed temper into orbit. Lu-Lu is an equal opportunity crotch eating dachshund and no family member has been spared her wrath, but my underwear appear to be the Holy Grail of crotch-eating underwear delight, especially the ones seized after a good treadmill run. I've tried everything to deter her detection. I embed them in the middle of the hamper, but somehow she ferrets them out. I may need to invest in a metal underwear combination locked vault to keep her out. I have a friend who also had an underwear eating dachshund, so maybe it's just a weird thing with the breed. Dogs are soooo disgusting. I was a little behind on laundry and I had no underwear left in the drawer that haven't been seized by Lu-Lu and every time I put on one of the Lu-Lu vented variety, I hear my mother's voice telling me..."you never want to be caught with anything less than perfect underwear." What would the ambulance driver think if he had to pull out my lifeless body from a wreck with me wearing tattered crotchless underwear? He would die himself from laughter and if I wasn't dead already--I soon would be from total embarrassment.

So, like it or was time to go shopping and stock up on a new batch. I was hoping to find something new for work too. You know how difficult it is for an in shape 42 year old woman to find suitable clothing? I don't want to wear frumpy mom clothes, but I don't want to pretend I'm 22 either, and try to wear all the ultra-low cut spandexy fashions the teenagers are wearing. I'm striving for mature-sexy, but not slutty. It's hard to attain and takes some looking. I managed to find a work top that fit my specifications for a decent price and hit J.C. Penney's for a new stock of underwear and picked up a pack of crew t-shirts for my husband. I was at the mall for probably 45 minutes and that's all I could tolerate..I start to get jittery and feel prickly heat on the back of my neck if I surpass this limit. God, I hate to shop. The only thing worse than shopping is shopping with children in tow. I'd rather pull my fingernails out by their tips then spend an afternoon shopping with my son, who apparently inherited the "hates to shop" gene. He literally stands in front of the clothes racks and tells me not to look at it or he begs me to "just buy it" so we can go home or he lays writhing on the floor moaning.

I don't know why I'm seized with sticker shock every time I shop, but I am. My small purchase of one work top, three pair of underwear, and one 3-pack of men's crew t-shirts was a staggering $60 something dollars. Unbelievable. Shopping just depresses me.

I picked up the kids from school and noticed a bag of clothing sitting inside my sun room with a note from my friend Kelly proclaiming that she had cleaned out her closet and I could help myself to anything I'd like. "Yes!!!" Now this is my kind of shopping!!! Kelly is exactly my size, although taller, and she has excellent tastes in clothing, striving for the same mature-sexy look that I do! I just love it!! They're all nice and broken in, but not the least bit worn or anything. She's long-torsoed, so clothes have the tendency of shrinking up on her after a few washes.

I called her and thanked her profusely. Not everything fits, but most of it does, so I'll just be the go-between between her and the Goodwill. What I can't use I'll take to the Goodwill myself. Gladly. Saves me all kinds of time that I could be blogging, or running, or any number of things except shopping!

I even tell my students when they're trying to land their first job; appearance is absolutely crucial, but don't pass over consignment shops or what I did to land my current job--I went shopping in Kelly's closet. :-)
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