Training for any race can be emotional. I have trained for countless races and I've hit some rough patches here and there. I'm emotional, what can I say? So, I suppose I should have realized that in training for an ironman, which is eleven thousand more miles than anything else I've ever trained for, I'd be kind of a mess.
I always put pressure on myself to perform at certain paces or speeds during workouts and when I can't hit those paces I get pretty upset. I'm learning to let that go, now more than ever. I've had some low days where I don't want to get up and I am so tired I forget to bring a towel to the pool. I have also suffered through a long runs that have left me miserable and whiny. And I have ridden my bike into the wind while cursing like a merchant marine.
I am out there. I am running. I am swimming. I am biking. I am still putting in the mileage and doing work. I may not be the Flash, but that's the thing about ironman training, it's really hard. It's harder than I think I realized and I'm really understanding what my friends who paved this path before me went through. It's hard to empathize until you are there. I am finally feeling like I'm more in a groove and I'm enjoying seeing just how far I can push myself. I'm also still wrapping my brain around 2.4, 112, and 26.2. How will I do that?
I work full time. I am a girlfriend, a sister, a daughter, and a friend. And I forget to give myself credit for trying to do all of this and be all of this when I am also working out 10 to 14 hours per week. I place humility very high on things I respect in others, but I know now that a good self congratulatory pat on the back is needed on those days when it's a real effort to get in a post work training session.
The other thing is that I've been training with blinders on and just going day by day without thinking about the end goal. Meghan, reminded me of this today when she talked about how amazing it will be to see our friends and family along the course. She is SO right. The end goal is that finish line. When I hear my name called, added by YOU ARE AN IRONMAN, all the work will be more than worth it.