There has been no purpose or focus, no plan or logic, just movement that at times hasn't even been forward. Two steps ahead to get 5 steps back. This has now become my way. One day at a time with no clear ending point.
I'm no where further along to PRing in the half than I was 12+ months ago. Just in the same stale position, almost like jogging in place at a stop light. But it feels different. A HEALTHY, relaxed, calm kind of different. Heavy stress on the HEALTHY party.
Life isn't stopping for running, rather it's the other way around. Still not entirely balanced, but forging on with an abnormal non-focused-focus. Races, workouts, and mileage all taking backseat to vacations, lobster boils, and summertime tranquility . Commitment is no more than a daily vow to create the best day possible with what lay in front of me, which most days is a losing battle.
Somehow when running isn't the driving force in life, things still get done and progress can still happen; a stunning revelation that has taken me way too long to understand. DERP.
this ain't no sham I am what I am I leave no time for a cynic's mind
My head is clear, and my legs are concentrated on a steady control of taking on only as much power as they can actually functionally possess. There is always a time for fluffy dreams and mammoth sized goals, my problem is simply realizing when that time is and isn't.
For that 5k tonight, I've got no goal or agenda. Simply to just enjoy being fast, where fast has no specific definition because speed is all relative. Sure a PR or another win would be nice, but at this point I just want to embrace the fact that my running legs feel more together than they have in ages. Attached and in control like they should be.