I've been doing a lot of thinking since running JFK two and a half weeks ago. I'm still dealing with knee pain. I tried running 3 miles on Monday and it started to ache at mile 2.5. I biked to work on Monday and Tuesday, which I think was good and bad. Good because I felt like my quads were getting stronger. Bad because bending the knee that much doesn't help anything. This morning I tried to run again, felt pain around mile 2, gave up a half mile later and walked home sulking.
The thinking I have been doing is about whether or not I really want to continue running ultras. Well, I want to do them, but I'm just not sure I want to deal with the aftermath. On the one hand its nice to have a goal race to train for and who knows how many miles I would really put down every week if I didn't have a 50 mile race looming in the back of my mind. On the other hand, in exchange for running so many miles in one day I have to give up miles on other days.
I love to run. I would run at least 10 miles every day if I could. The problem with loving to run so much, however, is that when I have to back off of running because of that big goal race it makes me hate that big goal race.
Other than laying down 50 miles in a single day on November 17th, I feel like I haven't really run much since October. Between a three week taper, which I hated, and the almost three weeks I've spent recovering/injured, which was okay at first but now officially sucks, I've lost a month a half because of JFK.
What would I really prefer to have? 6 weeks of regular running back in my life? Or a challenging race completed and checked off my list? Truthfully I don't know. I love challenging myself with ultras, but right now, honestly, I just rather be running.
Sidenote: This post will probably be completely null and void as soon as I'm uninjured and start wanting to feel like a badass again who runs 50 miles.