Insanity, as it applies to us in OA (150.2) and Measurements
Posted Mar 15 2013 12:00am
Thought I'd share what I wrote for one of my OA 30 questions
Some say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. This applies to diets/compulsive eating. I've tried in the past to "control" my eating but food actually controlled me. In the past, I prayed that God would help me lose weight, but what I really wanted was for God to make me thin but still be able to eat anything I want.
When it comes to food, I have acted in a completely irrational (insane) and self destructive manner. I have eaten and behaved in ways that no sane person would dream of.
I was obsessed with diets for years. After being on diet after diet, I would inevitably overeat and return to compulsive eating behaviors.
True insanity--I kept trying to find comfort in excess food, long after it began to cause me misery.
Food caused me to act insanely, especially in regards to how I treated my children and husband. I am a mean sugar drunk. I hurt the people I love most, because I choose food over them.
I was more comfortable with food than people. I isolated myself. Food became my friend, comforter, lover. But food is FOOD. None of those things can be found in food for a sane person.
I went to a Group Power (weights) class last night for the first time in months and months. The hour went by quickly. It was wonderful to feel my muscles work. I am sore today--I will be sorer tomorrow. I plan to take a yoga class tomorrow morning and maybe another weights calls Sunday afternoon. I haven't run since the race, but I expect to add that back in next week, at least a couple of days. I like that I can have balance in my exercise, since I don't have a race to train for.
Still not sure about the April half. Talked to a guy yesterday who runs, and he said the hills aren't that bad--there aren't any as steep as the two areas I run on. The biggest problem with that race, he said, is it's boring. You run through a lot of cornfields. That more than anything will deter me. I love running in the city. I get so much energy from city running. It's hard to explain the WHY of where this energy comes from. Maybe it's because I like cars and I like houses and neighborhoods. I can feel the energy of the people around me. Maybe it's the power lines...who knows. :)
I was able to sing in church choir rehearsal last night. Even hit the G notes pretty well (although not as strong as usual). It was bliss. I love music, I love to sing. Not having a singing voice for 3 weeks really affected how I felt in a negative way.
I took my measurements this morning while I was waiting for my root touch-up hair color to process (root touch-up color is brilliant, but why is it almost expensive as a box of full color? ticks me off).
Waist, narrowest part: 29.5
Waist at belly button: 31.5
Chest under arms: 32.5
Chest (boobs), no bra: 36.5
Hips (upper, around bottom of underwear): 39
Saddlebags (widest part of lower body): 42 (ugh)
Thighs (forgot to measure)
Upper arm by armpit: 12
I also have 2010 measurements in my notepad on my phone, when I weighed 164 pounds. They were
Waist (narrowest part): 32.5 (down 3")
Hips (upper): 42.6 (down 3.6")
Saddlebags: 45 (down 3")
Upper chest: 34.5 (down 2")
Chest (boobs), no bra: 38.5 (down 2")
Upper thigh: 23.5 (down ?)
This is great to know, because I thought I had lost the most in my upper body. My upper body noticeably slims down sooner than my lower half (I can see my collar bones and my ribs across my chest). But my lower half lost more inches. Which is cool!
It also surprises me how much I lose in small places, like my neck, feet, and wrists. I can see tendons in my feet that weren't there last year. I can wear the pearl choker I wore on my wedding day, that I couldn't wear when I was at my heaviest. I got my Movado watch fixed, that Mark bought me for my 35th birthday almost 8 years ago; it needed a new battery and I had three links taken out of it. I needed those links when I weighed 200 pounds.
We celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary Monday. Going to dinner (Mark wants Red Lobster b/c they have lobster fest on. Not my favorite restaurant, but it will make him happy) and to see Oz tonight.
I am now the age my mom was when I got married! I look back at pictures of my wedding, and while my mom was beautiful, I do look younger than she did then. Which is encouraging--I hope I still look younger when I'm 60 than what she does now. It's my theory that people who have kids when they are young, and also when they work a factory job for 25+ years, age more quickly than those who have kids when they are older. My step dad is one year older than Mark--he has two grown sons and a posse of grandkids. He also is a heavy equipment operator, which is a physically demanding job. He looks much older than Mark.
Hopefully, please God, it will be warm today like it's supposed to be. I know I keep whining about this, but this winter has been the longest I can remember. It's going to be in the 50s/30s next week. Still! Our church Easter egg hunt is next Sunday, and it's supposed to be 36/51 that day. Sooo not right. When we got married in March of 1995, the trees were budding and flowering trees has flowers, and it was temperate like a spring day. No such luck this year. Gah! I cannot wait for the heat to get here. I do solemnly swear that I will not complain when it's 90+ this summer. IF it even gets to 90+.
Feeling great, feeling stable. My weight will be up for a week or so while I go through mid-cycle hormones and stabilizes a bit. I can't wait to get & stay under 149--normal BMI that I so desire.