Things that change depending on your viewpoint (just like this photo, it could be from early morning or early evening):
Thinking you’re fast or slow, compared to other people (like my bro, who told me his goal is to run Boston with average paces of 6:20/mile)
Thinking you’re fast or slow, compared to some of your own racing times
Thinking you’re feeling “weak” or “tired” one day because you can only hold a 1-footed plank for 7:26 (knowing your record is much longer), also knowing most people would be happy with half of that
Feeling sore from a workout you think is hard (hopefully a month later it will seem easy)
Feeling like today is a great day (or not), depending on what happened the day before
Feeling in control of and satisfied with your life
Feeling like things in life will get better, or not
Feeling like it is better to have diminished expectations of people and things, because it’s easier, has less likelihood of hurting you, or whether that’s taking the easy way out.
Last summer, I really didn’t think things in my life would improve. Someone told me, don’t worry, things will get better. I didn’t believe them at all because I was consumed in sadness and depression. Today, I have a core group of old friends I still rely on (as well as certain members of my family), and many new ones have come into my life. Many of you reading this should know who and what you are to me. Today, I know a bad day is just that – a bad day, one that will pass, and even if the next one isn’t great, there will be better ones, and compared to what I have been through, it’s still better now the way things were. It goes hand-in-hand with “feeling in control and satisfied with my life.”
Two years ago, I thought I was happy with being a 10 minute miler. Today, I’m running comfortably in the 8 mins range, and am aiming to be within the 7 minute range by the end of this year. I look at the progress of the past years, and especially the last few months, and know I can continue onward. I’m still not as fast as my brother, who wants to run Boston this year in 2:42, but I’m getting faster relative to him. (Sadly, I am not growing any taller in relation to him.) I’ve even run a race where my first mile was under 7, something I would never have thought possible! (And I still kept going, I didn’t fall to the ground with a sign on my head saying “please drag me over the finish line, don’t trample me.”
I held a 1-foot plank position this morning for 7:26. Just didn’t feel like I had it in me, and felt weak. Not too long ago, I would have been psyched with that! Now I know I can do better.
A little while ago, I was afraid to take chances, paralyzed with fear in many ways, and thinking I couldn’t deal with being on my own. Now, I feel comfortable in my own skin, not afraid to meet new people, and try new things. I’m still afraid of heights, but now I can point to the fact that I can scale a 30 foot wall sometimes and not feel afraid.
I sometimes think it would be easier for me to go through life just expecting a lot less of people. Then I wouldn’t be disappointed at times, or feel hurt, which is something I’m trying to avoid right now. But then, I think that that would make life kind of boring, and it’d take me back to that safe cocoon I used to live in, when things were comfortable, even if I didn’t feel completely alive. So when those defeating thoughts come to mind, I try as hard as I can to push them away. I recognize my mood for being down, and just try to deal with it and move on.
First Totally Unrelated Topic:
Guys, do you tend to work harder when there is a girl on a treadmill next to you? A very nice coworker of mine said he won’t get on one, if there’s a girl next to him, because he knows he’ll work himself harder than he should. (He’s recuperating from knee surgery.) He said to me “Terri, I don’t know what it is you women have, but you can just keep going and going and going…maybe it’s the stress you’re trying to get rid of, maybe you just zone out, maybe you just have more endurance…” and then proceeded to tell me of this amazing woman he saw running at his gym, who was running before he got there, and still was, at a fast pace, after he was done and showered, and ready to go. (You go, girl, whoever you were!!) Hey, if I ever make a guy on a treadmill next to me work harder than he would otherwise do, I just say “dude, you’re welcome!”
Second Totally Unrelated Topic:
I met the owner and manager of the Boston Rock Gym last night when I was there climbing. Turns out someone had read my earlier blog post that mentioned I’d gotten the climbing bug as well as the name of his establishment. When he realized I was there last night, he wanted to meet me. He was a SUPER NICE GUY! He even offered to belay me some nights if I didn’t have a partner, saying he would love to get the opportunity to have some fun like that! He even showed me a sneak peak of what they are putting together for their bouldering competition tomorrow night, March 26th. The guy hasso many years of experience, I would love to learn or get tips from someone like that!
You never know who your words can affect, and how that person can, in turn, affect you. Just hope that it’s always positive.