I believe God is always with me. Even in my running. Sometimes I do not feel Him close to me, but that is not because He has changed. No, it is because I have moved away from Him. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, it really doesn’t matter. God never turns away from me, I turn from Him. So I find it funny how God catches hold of us in the small things to regain our focus on the bigger things.
April 16th will hold a bittersweet taste for me as the day I failed to complete the Boston marathon. In the moment of the race, I believed I made the right decision to stop running, however as the days pass I regret that decision more and more. What if I had just kept going? What if I? What if?
You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.-Psalm 56:8-
This verse reminds me that God notices me. That I should remain encouraged by His love and faithfulness. The reward was not the B.A.A. 26.2 finishers medal this time, but maybe the reward is waiting for acts done in His name. In other words, I must keep the right attitude always in all that I do. And let’s face it friends, this is not an easy task is it? We all have our failings. We all have our emotions that want to rule.
No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.-Philippians 3:13-14-
There is no way to change the decision that I made. That is the past. I must look forward. I need to hear what God is teaching sot that I can become more mature in my Christian walk. This is where true happiness is found, not in crossing a finish line.
For I hold you by your right hand—
I, the LORD your God.
And I say to you,
‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.-Isaiah 41:13-
If He is there in all aspects of life, the big, the small then I can hold to His promise that He is present even in my running. I should therefore not fear but know with absolute certainty that no matter the outcome I am running for my Lord. Nothing else should matter, but His plan. Will I always understand my failings? Probably not. As long as my faith remains in the right object then I am by no means a failure.
And this righteousness will bring peace.
Yes, it will bring quietness and confidence forever.-Isaiah 32:17-
Whether I finished Boston or not this year I now have peace in knowing my God was there running with me and this quiet confidence is something that I will carry with me not only into my next race, but into my next breath.
Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.-Ecclesiastes 3:11-
God’s perfect plan began in my heart many months ago. He knows the beginning and the end for I could not have know that the temps would rise into the 80’s on the one day I needed a cool spring day. But He did. He left me the tools to overcome this disappointment and today I found them in my journal of random thoughts.
You see, I have the habit of jotting down random verses and thoughts or ideas from different readings and devotionals. Today I sat down and discovered that line by line were the verses and thoughts I listed above. It is the perfect story of my heart in this moment. It is God’s loving words to show me He was indeed with me from the beginning. I am humbled by His provision.
And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.-Matthew 28:20-
running by faith,