Sometimes I feel my post topics may jump all over the place but in all reality they are all true to one central core - being a running mom. I may talk about running, I may talk about motherhood, I may even talk recipes and yes, they are linked to that central core.
Running is an essential part of my being and the lessons I learn through running are applied to all other aspects of my life. Take this one for example
This popped into my mind at the start of my run on Saturday morning. And it has blossomed into the blog post you are about to read today. It includes running, it includes temper tantrums, and it includes strength.
Last September I ran my second marathon . Yes, I PR'd ( and again in December ) but it was my toughest marathon to date. At one point I really did want to walk off the course, scream at the world, or ball my eyes out. I was feeling beaten but yet, I continued. I stuck to my guns and I had faith in what I was doing and could do. It paid off.
I am a very lucky mom in the fact that my darling daughter has very few temper tantrums. My husband may disagree but it is true. She can be quite good natured, head strong but good natured. (And my mom says I was the very same way.) At home the trick of going to your room to scream, stomp it out works pretty well. But since she has so few, the very rare ones in public are so much harder for me to stifle. I can't send her to her room.
At the beginning I listened to all the advice I read and heard. If your child is having a fit in a store, leave the store. Forget your shopping and go. In my gut this didn't make sense. Aren't I feeding into the tantrum and giving in to it? And ummm....I will still need to go back to the store at a later date. I have left once or twice but really don't think it is the best course. So I changed my ways. Now, I stick to my guns. We are at the store because we need groceries...because I am not shopping for fun. If I leave, I pay the price of having to come back and that includes additional gas money. With gas being over $4 a gallon here, yes, that is a factor. Especially when I am 30 minutes or more driving time from home.
I don't quit!
So my new strategy. I will stand still until darling daughter settles down. She doesn't turn happy go lucky but realizes it will only take longer if she is giving me a hard time. And no, she won't get treats if I have to do behavior modification while shopping. So sorry people at the grocery store who saw my daughter throw a screaming fit when I wouldn't buy her a donut and pleaded for a third chance. Her argument of I will be good if you buy me the donut doesn't fly. Rewards come after. And sorry, I am not leaving because I am not driving back. I have the strength to do what is right and not give it to rewarding bad behavior just so I don't feel like I am being judged by you. I will not quit with the finish line so close in sight. I just need to pay.
In all reality, most people looked at me with understanding. I apologized to the cashier as she was hearing it in full force and she said, I understand. On the way out, the gentlemen who bagged my groceries patted my shoulder and said I am doing a good job. To me, that is like the person on the sidelines cheering you on saying great job at mile 20 when you have 6.2 miles to go. But to the mom with the seven year old giving me a dirty look - I say you live a charmed life if your daughter has never had a bad moment in public and you are very lucky. For most of us, we do have some tough runs mixed in with all the splendid ones.
I don't blame my daughter. She is testing her limits and learning from her mistakes. And I did push it a bit as it was getting close to lunch and I opted to not buy fast food but try to shop fast. Unfortunately, we ran out of snacks in my purse. When we got home, she went straight to her room without me asking knowing she needed a breather to calm down. She has a hard time doing that when she gets really upset. She isn't even five yet and I think she is doing great. We talked later about what we could do when she gets that upset at a store and she said, perhaps bring a doll so I can have that to hold onto. Makes sense to me.
Thing is, I think being a runner and having three marathons under my belt gave me the added boost in confidence to trust myself, trust my "training", trust my plan. I used my inner strength to stay focused on what was important and ensured my daughter did remain safe. I didn't let her screams discourage me and for that, I am thankful.
Daily Gratitude: I am thankful that my daughter has very, very few full blown tantrums. Daily Affirmation: I am a good mom with a fantastic daughter.