For anyone that's known me through the years...I have this tendency to shed my skin every seven years, like a lizard, and try on different personas. I've never been real comfortable in the skin I was born in, so I try out different skins for awhile...then move on to something else. I've become comfortable in my runner skin...it feels real now...not like trying on someone else's pretty clothes, the way it felt when I first became a runner.
I started blogging to help keep me focused on running and figuring it all out. I knew there was something magic in it, but it was so darned hard too. The blogging was just the thing for wading the quagmire of runner "issues". I think I've logged 267 posts about running "issues". It's been a godsend for getting me through it, but now I've evolved to the point, where tragic unspeakable things could fall in my lap, and if I'm physically able, I would keep running to cope because I am a runner. I look like a runner, but I've gotten tired of talking about running. Does that make sense? I've lost my child-like enthusiasm for running because it's as assimilated into my life as my red-hair and freckles. It's like when new mothers get together and they can't help about clucking about high-chairs, Amoxcillin, breast pads, and potty training, but the same conversation falling on the ears of a veteran mother with school age children sounds dull... We love our children, of course, but the newness has worn off. We are past those things. It's like marriage...you know...when it's all hot and romantic for the first ten years, but then it just....is.
I'm also not a competitively driven runner. I really don't have a burning desire to break 24 minutes in a 5K, even though I've said I'd like to do this, because I thought runners are supposed to have upwardly mobile goals. I follow the blogs of several bloggers that pepper their blogs with splits of their workouts. This is all good and fine but I would fall asleep doing the same for myself. I guess, I run for different reasons...mental health first and physical health are my ultimate priorities for being a runner. So, what's my point here? I'm trying to justify why I don't want to blog as much about running. I've evolved to a new level where I feel it's more important to promote running as lifestyle, rather than my own self-absorbed goal reaching. I'm in over my head where the running club is concerned, but I enjoy every minute of it and feel it's a worthwhile endeavor to do my part to keep the running club on healthy running feet. So, for the time being I'm more of a running advocate than a runner focused on my own running. I feel drawn more to the runner trying to figure it all out than the veteran runner trying to reach ever elusive goals...There are as many different kinds of runners as there moths; we'll gravitate eventually toward the light that holds the most gravitational pull.
I thought it was sweet how a few of my blog readers reminded me about that whole balance concept. I don't have to keep all the plates spinning quite so fast, I can spin a little slower and keep them in my life, unlike the gardening plate that I let crash to the ground along with all my dying houseplants..so, I'll keep blogging, but not out of any urge to meet some self-imposed blogger quota, but when I feel that blogging urge come on... It's much more fun that way, too.