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Changing a flat and other life skills I never learned.

Posted Aug 31 2011 3:16pm

The kids and I went to the Downtown Aquarium yesterday for a bit of fun.  We have a season pass and it is a great place to pop into when you have a few hours to kill.  I was getting the kids out when I heard a noise.  What was that?  The car cooling down?  No.  I listened a little longer and heard that it was a distinct "pshhhhhh" sound coming from the back tire.  Oh, that is not going to be good.  So I called the hubs for advice and he said go to the aquarium and just see what it looks like when you get out.

We did a loop in the aquarium and came back to a very flat tire.  I knew it.  I must have run over something in the parking lot.  Mason suggested it was the raccoons who popped the tire.  Man, I should not have showed him those mean raccoon pictures because he is really afraid of raccoons now.  Lesson learned.  Anyway, I called Kevin again because I don't know how to change a flat tire!

I am going to admit that this is something I should know how to do.  Not only is it an important life skill, but I have had 3 other flat tires besides this one.  You would think by this time I would have picked up on it.  Of course not.  The first time I had a flat it was in Malibu Canyon.  I was on a narrow strip of dirt between whizzing traffic and a cliff.  I had no idea what to do and I of course had no cell reception.  As I was staring at the spare in my trunk, two guys pulled up behind me.  At first I was relieved but then I realized that they could also be raper/murders who could just throw me off the cliff after doing God knows what to me.  Fortunately, they were not raper/murders.  I think they must have actually been a part of some pit crew because they jumped out of the car, changed my tire at lightning speed, and then jumped back in their car and took off.  I barely had time to thank them.  They must have been some sort of NASCAR angels.  The second time I was living at home and used my parents AAA, and the thrid time I was at work and had one of the security guards changed it.

I guess I figured one of the perks of getting married was that you have someone to change your tires for you, right?  I thought it was one of those unspoken things.  I'll birth the kids and you change tires and kill spiders.  But when my husband showed up he said, "How is it that your parents never taught you to change a flat."  What?  I am actually suppose to know how to do that?

This is MacGyver in case you are under 30.
He was shocked that, yet again, I was lacking the knowledge of what he sees as a basic life skill.  Of course he would think this because my husband knows how to do everything.  It is true and I am going to brag about him a little bit (only because he never reads my blog and won't know about it).  Plumbing, electrical, construction, carpentry, basket weaving, machine repair, sewing (!), investing, decorating, bomb detonation.  He is practically MacGyver, minus the mullet.  It is so obnoxious. 



The reason he knows so much more goes back to our different childhoods.  I was doing things like perfecting the art of jump roping with roller skates on and  watching Jem.  He was handing his dad tools and watching This Old House.    He was probably Bob Villa for Halloween.  Even if I had succeeded at the rollerskating jump roping venture (which I did not. . .I did not), it is not very useful.  Whereas my husband filled his childhood learning very useful things.  Whatever, I had fun.

But the whole thing got me thinking about how I just missed the boat on learning a lot of things that I should know how to do.  Here are a few of those things
  • Cooking edible food. 
  • Sewing.  I can fake my way through sewing a button on, but that is about it.  And yes, my husband really can sew.
  • Folding a fitted sheet.  Okay, is that really even possible?  And if you know how can you please give me a lesson.
  • How to work a drill or any power tools.
  • There are so many more, but I have rambled on long enough.
There you have it.  Although I can kick butt in Pop Culture Trivial Pursuit, I don't have any real practical skills.  Guilty as charged!

Oh, and my mom's answer for why I didn't know how to change a tire?  We had AAA.  Duh Kev, get your wife a AAA card! 
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