If you’re like me – and I know I am – you enjoy the perks of completing a marathon but could do without the months of arduous training. Fear not! There is a new race for people like us and I expect it to sweep the nation. Welcome to Run Free 2013 – the Greatest Race That Never Was.

That’s right. Annoying training updates, sponsors, bib numbers, aid stations, medals, t-shirts, photos, race reports, race results (based on how much you pledge) but no running. As I write this, the race has already raised more than $4,200 on Kickstarter .

I’ll be applying for a fake press credential to not-cover the not-race, so stay tuned for further reports on the non-event of 2013 in marathon racing.