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All about tattoos, hip aches, and especially me

Posted Jul 02 2012 10:20pm

I haven’t run in 13 days. Ugh, I know. I am marathon training and I just skipped 1.5 weeks of training. I could go to great lengths to tell you The Why Story or I could give you the abridged version or I could even just tell you the reason in 5 simple words. But I won’t. It’s not my story to tell, even though it affected me greatly. Suffice it to say, however, that someone I love very much needed my undivided support and attention, and me taking even just a 30-minute run just seemed insensitive and inappropriate.

Do you like how I just totally talked myself up just now so that you would think I was not only super great, which you probably already knew, but that I was also super selfless and kind, which I am SURE you had a pretty good idea about. Ahhhhhhh…me.

Ok so back to meHere I am at Week 5 of marathon training with a 13-day gap of no running and a horrible ache in my right hip, which is as mysterious to me as my first paragraph up there probably was to you.

Coach W said he would rework my schedule to adjust the missed week because the 16-mile long run I am scheduled to take this Sunday would be too much of a jump for me to take this week. But I think I can manage a 14-mile long run, so I am going to do Week 4 of trainingthe missed weekand then go from there with Coach W’s help

So here is Week 4, as long as the hip cooperates:

Day 1: 4 miles, easy

Day 2: 6 miles (5×800)

Day 3: 6 miles, easy

Day 4: yoga

Day 5: 14 miles at race pace (9:30)

Ok back to me again. So what’s up with that hip ache. Most runners get injured from overuse. Well, I guess THIS girl, c’est moi, being the rebel I am, puts her thumb to her nose and goes pfffffftttttt and goes and gets injured from not doing shit. Seriously, I am baffled. On the 4th day of my selfless marathon NONtraining, I awoke in the middle of the night with a hip ache from hell. Seriously I hadn’t run or done any real physical activity in 4 days.

See this picture of my hip bones and muscles that I took the other day?  (I have a great camera, no?)

Ok, well, the very high-tech yellow arrow points to where it hurts. It hurts like heck when I lie down, no matter what position I am in. It hurts like heck when I sit, but only in certain positions When I walk, it feels very tight but will only hurt if I walk after sitting or lying down for long periods of time, and it doesn’t hurt at all when I stand still. But if I move my right leg suddenly, e.g., to kick a ball or do some super spank dub step dancing, it hurts so beeeeeeee-yad, like an ice pick being jammed in my hip. I keep thinking it is feeling better, and it will for a day but then wham, back where I started.

Here’s what I think happened. I think I sleep-walked, and while I was sleep walking, I met David Beckham. And he, being so incredibly awestruck by my beauty and fitness, had to have me right away, and so, while being made crazy, sweet love to during my sleeping stupor by David Beckham, I pulled a muscle.  Sigh…..Isn’t he DREEEEEEEEEEEEEAMY??

Oh all right, back to reality and ME (party poopers).

I honestly don’t know what the heck I did to my hip. Can you actually get injured from NOT running? Oh well, it doesn’t matter. Since I have no idea what I did, I will just ignore it. That’s what all the running blogs and running sites sayRun through your injuriesright? Ok well, here’s the deal. I am going to give running a shot this week and see how I feel. I will do the 4 easy miles tomorrow morning and go from there. I have been popping Advil and icing it and rubbing it down with Icy Hot like a crazy woman, and I am tentatively going to say I feel better today.

You know, there’s only one thing that annoys me more than unexplained hip aches in the middle of marathon training and people constantly talking about themselves…and that is tattoos.  I really hate most tattoos and think they look nasty. If you have a tattoo, I don’t hate YOU. I just hate your tattoo, and I feel like when you are 80, that tattoo will look really….Oh wait, never mind. Tattoos are AWESOME!!!

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