Sometimes I can fall right back to sleep after the 25 times Tosh gets up to nurse and other times, especially if I have a heavy heart, I cannot.
So then I get up wander around the house, make sure the porch light is turned off, the door locked and begin to paroose the fridge. I'm like one of those 8 year old kids who always leaves the fridge door open staring eventually getting yelled at to close it. I never find anything. I'm just looking for the sake of looking.
The really rough newborn stage is over but the easier infant phase of only getting up a few times a night has also not quiet yet set in so we're in between.
I'm tired of being in my pajamas and maternity clothes everyday. I want to wear normal things. I MIGHT try an outfit post this week but a few days ago I tried on a size medium button down shirt thinking I'd just wear it open and I couldn't even get my arm in the sleeve. Yeah, that made me feel like poop!
I'm sick of being cooped up in the house 24/7. I'm ready to go do something normal like to go to Target but I am also that mom who will do ANYTHING to keep her baby from crying so if that means not taking in the car, then we stay home. There is something about that newborn cry, you know the one where they really loose it and just all out whale, that males me insane. Honestly, I don;t think it;s safe for me to drive a car at that point. Anyone else feel this way?I think mother's are wired like that on purpose so you will immediately stop whatever your doing and tend to your baby. Problem is we;re not cave women and we have them strapped into car seats going 55 on a freeway. We can't tend to them and it's torture to listen to.
My point is I'd rather stay holed up in this house than risk the screaming newborn.
I have to admit I am so glad Tosh is getting bigger. This is my last baby so I am trying to love every single moment but I must admit I'm not a newborn kinda gal. Of course they are beautiful and amazing but I prefer them when they are drooling and smiling from ear to ear with a hefty layer of chub all around; a bit less breakable.
I never was "a baby" person. You know some people are just "baby" people, not me! I was the youngest so had no younger brothers or sisters to hold and I never really baby sat. I don't know for some reason babies always made me very uncomfortable. I never want to hold other peoples babies. I just don't. They scare me,
I adore my own and I'd love to play with a kid or two but no one Else's new borns please. Not the baby type here.
Yes, I so realize I have 3 but their mine. It's a very different story when you grew them inside you.
Anyway, I'll stop my ridiculous sleep deprived ramble and try to get back into the bed without waking the prince. Wish me luck!