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Adoption April Series: My Thoughts on Adoption

Posted Apr 16 2010 7:00am 1 Comment

If you’ve missed the first two installments of Adoption April, check out the first week here , and the second week here . I know many of you have children of your own, or are at the stage in your life that you are having children or considering this for your family. Personally, I have never thought of myself actually having kids. I don’t know why I think like this, but I think possibly that it has to do with the fact that my mom didn’t ‘have me’ so I can’t imagine myself being pregnant or actually having a child. I still haven’t made a complete decision on whether or not I want to physically have children but I think that also will depend on when and who I marry and all that sort of thing.

I do think that adoption is such a powerful thing, and honestly, I will consider it when I am ready to have children. I think a lot of people think that adoption is only adopting drug babies, problem babies, or children that have gone through foster care, which isn’t true. I was a completely healthy, albeit small, baby and was adopted into a loving home. My birth mom never contacted my parents to ask for me back, there were never any issues with her or my birth family. I know that could have been a possibility, but it hasn’t happened yet… :)

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BABY DANICA!!!! :)

When I was growing up, most people honestly couldn’t believe I was adopted. I looked like my family and had the same attitude and mannerisms as my mother. Now, I am JUST. LIKE. MY. MOM. It was never a ‘weird’ thing to talk about with my friends either. Surprisingly enough, my roommate Shea is also adopted. We sometimes talk about it, and our feelings, but like me, she has known her entire life that she was adopted. She also harbors no bad feelings towards either sets of her parents. It’s a fun bond that we share together and it’s also nice to talk about our adoptions together.

I never, ever felt different than other kids. I never felt like I had a different relationship with my parents or different family setting. I think the openness that my parents had helped this, and I also never felt unwanted, or uncommitted too. I never felt abandoned or like my birth parents didn’t love me or want me and that’s why they ‘gave me up’. They were mature enough to realize that they couldn’t provide the best life for me and wanted to give me a chance at a better life. That is why they gave me up for adoption. I was SO loved to get TWO moms :) a birth mom and a real mom!

Even though I kind of look like my parents/family, I never felt like I didn’t belong or like I wasn’t a part of the family. I think even if I didn’t look like my family, we would still talk about it the same way. Everyone is different and just because I’m not the ‘blood’ of my parents doesn’t mean I am not theirs! What if I was naturally my parents and looked nothing like them? Would I question if I was theirs? Probably not. People look different, it’s accepted, and adoption is no different.

The best part about adoption is that I was openly welcomed into a family that I wasn’t biologically part of. I NEVER felt unaccepted, or questioned if I was suppose to be there. Granted, I grew up with my family, grandparents and cousins that all loved me unconditionally and I think that always made me feel welcome and loved. I was a part of my family unconditionally. No matter what I was stuck there! I think that has made the biggest difference for me.

It’s not about being unwanted. I think that is the biggest thing that many people struggle with. I believe I was never unwanted, I was chosen to be a part of a different family than my birth mom. I believe her giving me up was the most unselfish decision anyone could ever make, and the fact that she did that makes me completely respect her.

I wasn’t born into a family, I don’t know my exact heritage, or who gave birth to me, but at the same time that doesn’t make me less of a person, or question why I’m here or what I’m doing without my original family. I have always thought of my adoptive family as my one and only family. I would like to meet my birth parents one day but I honestly don’t have the money to hire a private investigator and everything at the moment so I know it will come with time, but I am looking more into it. I understand that they might not even want to be in communication with me at the same time. I feel that the only important thing that I would need to possibly get from them is my families medical history for any genetic diseases that I might be exposed too. If they would like to communicate than that’s also great. I will discuss more about them in my next post which is suppose to be all about them and my feelings and what I do know about them.

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Sweet outfits! :) If my brother knew that this was in public he’d kill me.

Please feel free to email any questions you may have for the last post of adoption April to danica@chicrunner.com. Next week it’s all about my birth parents! Maybe you might know them :)

xoxo

Comments (1)
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Excellent post by you, i feel it doesn't make any sense if the parents are not biological as long as one feel bonded with them, nothing can come between them as i feel the same with you too through your post. I really appreciate the mental toughness exhilareted by you & your mother, who without any question of your background details adopted you & took care of you, & you not her biological daughter but more then that, have appreciated her without any doubt. I feel adoption is righteous way to help a kid who may be devoid of parents love.We all as a person should together & do something for society.
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