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Accepting changes

Posted Apr 24 2013 12:15am

I was feeling pretty uninspired to do a WIAW postI’ve been feeling so ‘normal’ about food recently that I don’t have a whole lot to add on the past few weeks I’ve shared my progress. I think this will be the last update I give for awhile, unless something drastically changes. It’s getting boring saying the same things week after week. Yes, I’m doing well, but talking about it just perpetuates the thoughts that go with eating which is something I’m trying to avoid. I just want to eat!

At first, I wasn’t in a place where I could really deviate much from the routine I had set for myself (and shared with you all when I first started trying this). I ate my bagel but if I was still hungry, that freaked me out. My morning snack was especially a challenge at first, since I don’t think I’ve even one of those since elementary school. If I was still hungry after lunch, I felt uncomfortable eating my afternoon snack early in fear that I would be hungry again before dinner. Obviously, that’s not the progress I was looking for.

All of a sudden, I started having major food successes, such as not being starving at night. I actually have energy during the day and it definitely made a difference this weekend in my meet. Not to mention I’m sleeping so much better. I don’t go to bed starving or stuffed to the point of feeling sick.

listen-to-your-body-info

Since that first week of slight discomfort over the plan- I didn’t feel uncomfortable physically, just mentally- everything has gotten easier. It has become the new norm but I also found that I’m able to deviate from it. Instead of coming home after practice knowing I’m going to make myself grilled chicken, pasta, and green beans, I have been ‘winging’ it. I’m getting bored of the same old meal day after day.

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no, actually, I’m not. I eat what I want.

Monday, I had set chicken out to cook, but after practice I realized I was a) feeling too lazy to grill, and b) not in the mood for chicken. So what did I do? I drove to the grocery store and bought some Annie’s instead. Exactly what I wanted. Then made the chicken last night instead.

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I wish I had my mom’s vegetable cutting skills. And this is why my computer has to get sent to Apple for a week at a time. I’m a child.

These are the good kinds of changes. The ones I’m excited to tell my therapist and nutritionist about each week. These are the changes that are pushing me in the direction I should be headed. I find myself thinking less and less about food each day. The anxiety isn’t there anymore when I’m talking about food in my appointments or when I’m deciding on what to eat for dinner after practice. There’s still some work to be done on the earlier meals, but it’s a step.

I won’t lie, I sometimes miss my sweet tooth that I used to have. It’s gone down considerably recently and I find myself wanting more savory type foods (pizza will be making an appearance soon). My mom is kind of worried. She doesn’t know who I am anymore. I’m obsessed with these bars lately though. I used to have them at home all the time but I just found them here and it tastes like eating an ice cream oreo! Since I don’t think those exist, these will have to do.

these things are actually the only "diet" food I tolerate. 1) they're big enough, and 2) they don't taste like some fake imitation crap

these things are actually the only “diet” food I tolerate. 1) they’re actually big enough that I can see why they’re called “giant”, and 2) they don’t taste like some fake imitation crap

I should also add that I currently have 4 almost full boxes of ice cream sandwiches and a gallon of ice cream. You never know what you’re going to want!

So obviously there are a lot of positives but I’d be lying if there weren’t still things I need to work on.

1) feeling comfortable going out to eat. this one will take a lot more work, although I’m less anxious about it than I was.

2) keeping some of the foods I struggled with sitting in the fridge/pantry (grapes have made a comeback though, thank god!)

3) sometimes realizing that I should eat even if I’m not hungry- like this weekend at my meet when the nausea took over

4) trying new foods. This one is big and I have the furthest to go on it but I know I’ll get there eventually.

Do you follow a strict plan with your meals or do you ‘wing it’?

Favorite dessert?


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