Your children's emotional and physical development is very important. Our relationships and interactions with others are a result of our meeting or falling short of developmental milestones. If we are developmentally behind, the challenges of life begin to mount while we are ill-equipped to manage our emotional and physical responses to life issues. Here are some of the developmental issues that we all have faced or will face that are taken from my book. These milestones are from Erikson's Theory of Development:
a. Trust – First year of life. Parent to care for the physical, social, and emotional well being of the child. Abuse and trauma in any stage of development would create trust problems for this person. This would impact one’s ability to show love, respect, and honesty.
b. Shame vs. Self-doubt – Ages 1 - 3. Milestones consist of the child to express individuality and challenge the status quo while making mistakes. Parental patience is very important so as your child explores their environment,, they are not made to feel bad or blamed for their curiosity.
c. Moral Reasoning – Ages 3 – 6. Milestones consist of the child gaining a sense of competence and initiative. Moral reasoning begins at this stage with the child gaining a sense of right and wrong. Begin to learn physical and educational skills. Parental involvement and significance is paramount at this stage..
d. Industry vs. Inferiority – Ages 6 – 12. Milestones consist of children gaining social skills, cooperative skills, expanding educational knowledge, accepting differences in people, and further developing physical skills. Expectations of parents impact this stage. Expectations too high (perfectionism) or too low will cause children to miss milestones in this stage.
e. Emotional Maturity – Ages 12 – 18. Milestones consist of adolescent finding meaning in one’s life and developing his or her individuality. There is a strong importance on youth finding a role model in which he or she believes. The adolescent must begin to develop adult living skills. Parents that narrow options or leave options for teens wide open to explore the world cause milestones to be missed at this stage.
f. Responsibility and Independence – Adulthood – Milestones consist of taking on increased responsibilities and being able to discern how your parents either positively or negatively impacted your decision making and morality. To achieve intimacy in relationships, you must be able to understand what contributes to your irrational thinking.
g. Productivity vs. Stagnation – The middle stage of life. People become more aware of their eventual death. The core struggle is between productivity and stagnation. The way in which productivity is measured will determine a person’s success or happiness. What are the symbols of success and what is the balance between self and selflessness.
h. Integrity vs. Despair – The final development stage. The core struggle is between integrity and despair. Spirituality and rational thinking are essential to leave life with few regrets. Healing relationships become most important in this stage.
Throughout your life, you have met challenges that have tested these developmental skills. Many of the early stages of development are so important to how we progress through our adolecense and adulthood. If you are unhappy and feel empty inside, you need to trace back in your life where you did not meet developmental milestones and work through these issues, so the rest of your life is not caught up in misery.
Labels: development, emotional, intimate relationships, meaning, milestones, physical, social
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a. Trust – First year of life. Parent to care for the physical, social, and emotional well being of the child. Abuse and trauma in any stage of development would create trust problems for this person. This would impact one’s ability to show love, respect, and honesty.
b. Shame vs. Self-doubt – Ages 1 - 3. Milestones consist of the child to express individuality and challenge the status quo while making mistakes. Parental patience is very important so as your child explores their environment,, they are not made to feel bad or blamed for their curiosity.
c. Moral Reasoning – Ages 3 – 6. Milestones consist of the child gaining a sense of competence and initiative. Moral reasoning begins at this stage with the child gaining a sense of right and wrong. Begin to learn physical and educational skills. Parental involvement and significance is paramount at this stage..
d. Industry vs. Inferiority – Ages 6 – 12. Milestones consist of children gaining social skills, cooperative skills, expanding educational knowledge, accepting differences in people, and further developing physical skills. Expectations of parents impact this stage. Expectations too high (perfectionism) or too low will cause children to miss milestones in this stage.
e. Emotional Maturity – Ages 12 – 18. Milestones consist of adolescent finding meaning in one’s life and developing his or her individuality. There is a strong importance on youth finding a role model in which he or she believes. The adolescent must begin to develop adult living skills. Parents that narrow options or leave options for teens wide open to explore the world cause milestones to be missed at this stage.
f. Responsibility and Independence – Adulthood – Milestones consist of taking on increased responsibilities and being able to discern how your parents either positively or negatively impacted your decision making and morality. To achieve intimacy in relationships, you must be able to understand what contributes to your irrational thinking.
g. Productivity vs. Stagnation – The middle stage of life. People become more aware of their eventual death. The core struggle is between productivity and stagnation. The way in which productivity is measured will determine a person’s success or happiness. What are the symbols of success and what is the balance between self and selflessness.
h. Integrity vs. Despair – The final development stage. The core struggle is between integrity and despair. Spirituality and rational thinking are essential to leave life with few regrets. Healing relationships become most important in this stage.
Throughout your life, you have met challenges that have tested these developmental skills. Many of the early stages of development are so important to how we progress through our adolecense and adulthood. If you are unhappy and feel empty inside, you need to trace back in your life where you did not meet developmental milestones and work through these issues, so the rest of your life is not caught up in misery.
Labels: development, emotional, intimate relationships, meaning, milestones, physical, social
Subscribe to my feed