Being ‘interested’ isn’t a commitment to marriage etc but if you can’t commit to even being available enough to feel out your feelings and put both feet in to discovering whether you both have something that can progress into a relationship , you sure as hell won’t be available for much else.
If someone’s interest extends to getting all of the trappings of a relationship without the commitment , they have limited availability and interest – you don’t need someone with a cap on their capacity.
Many people think ‘unavailable’ means they will only use you for a shag and go, or will not be dating – as many a person in a casual or struggling to progress relationship has found, this is completely untrue. I challenge you to tell someone they’re a user. Nine out of ten will deny it because most people don’t want to see themselves as being using even when they are. They think if they’re enjoying themselves and they perceive you as ‘benefitting’, they’re all good.That’s why it’s up to you as the person who is responsible for you to recognise when someone is unavailable or is not interested or half interested and opt out.
It doesn’t matter if they don’t see it – you see it. Your job isn’t to raise them from the ground up and teach them basic things that even my four year old could probably grasp. Some people aren’t honest and responsible enough to know their own mind, never mind clue you in on their thought process.
Your job in life is not to turn a pigs ear into a silk purse or to keep pitching yourself like a used car salesperson to batter and override their objections until they eventually become interested/available.
Unavailable = unavailable for a mutually fulfilling relationship.
Half interested/not interested = not mutual interest = not available for a mutually fulfilling relationship.
Don’t waste your time – every moment you spend with someone that isn’t available or mutually interested, keeps you hanging around in an unhealthy relationship when you could be going out there and forging a mutual relationship.
There’s some great comments on my last post about being blinded by appearance about recognising that people who are available don’t just offer out a slice of pie to make you jump through hoops for them to determine if they’ll give you all the pie, plus a great shoe analogy.