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Wow. Just WoW.

Posted Sep 06 2009 10:34pm
So I've been enjoying Facebook more and more (breathe, Sulpicia...it's OK to say and do the "F" word...really, it is). I like the little connections made on a daily basis. It's fun to read what everyone decides to focus on and share. I've been spending way more time there than I ever thought I would 'cuz it's fun.

One odd thing is to be reconnected to my high school cohorts. They are planning a reunion next month so are all atwitter getting it all together, starting the strolls down memory lane and such. I've enjoyed it but not engaged much as I'm not going to partake of the festivities.

Reading the banter has made me start thinking about that period after decades of trying to forget. As I pondered the ancient friend inventory, one guy kept coming up for me. We share the same birthday. I had a bit of a crush on him back then, thought of him periodically through the years. I believe I even thought about him just last week, wondering if he would ever show up.

Poof. He has.

We've been emailing.

How odd this is. How wonderfully odd.

First thing it's brought up is an issue that I haven't had to consider in this way: who are D and I? I simply don't know how to explain us when I'm asked about my relationship status. I don't know where we're going, I don't know when or how we'll get there. I don't feel like it's "complicated" (that sounds so....icky to me). But we are not your usual relationship. I've decided that we need a new catagory called "interesting." We aren't in a position I've ever been in or heard of before. We're odd for an on-the-relationship-fringes crowd I'm used to. We're really odd for middle America:

"Well, you see, I was, then wasn't, now am, again, a whore. And we met and decided to do a relationship and we lived together for four years but now we're not living together...but we're still doing the relationship. I guess...except we don't talk much these days. And we do love each other and want to be together....but that's not working out right now so he's back living with his wife. And it'll be that way until until business works out...and I don't know what will happen if business never works out or works out after I've moved on because life flowed that way (do I sound shallow? unsupportive? ohwellmaybeIamthereitis)...so until then I've told him I may find another lover but I haven't gone there (except for a patron)...It's sure wonderful talking to you after 35 years."

Jeebus.

I told T (the high school crush birthday twin) the easier version: that I am in an (on paper) open relationship, watching what flows to me as I reinvent my life from the inside out.

But that's not the cool WoW, part.

The cool part is that he's thought of me through the years...fondly. And that he says he always felt a connection; that we were both different. It feels really good to have discovered I wasn't the only alien back then. Is it the birthday?

But the even cooler part is him. His Reader's Digest memoir flubbergusted me, floored me, humbled me. Epic. What really got me is who he's become from it all.

He's a Buddha. No shit. The guy's an ex-Detroit Buddha. Or maybe a Bodhisattva. Whatever.

I love the excitement of finding people who are on similar paths. He sounds like he's ended up with a far greater embodiment of letting go of everything and living in the Now...way further along the path than I can ever hope to attain. He appears to be a perfect example of how pain can either make us bitter, stiff old coots or crack our heart open so that it can unconditionally love. I get the sense from his words that he's kinda like Hesse's Siddhartha when he was living by the river.

Except he swears. Love that part.

Wow.
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