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Widowed mom dates too soon

Posted May 06 2009 1:32pm

Hello Tina,

My name is Tod. I am an elementary school counselor. If you wouldn't mind, I would like to ask you a question that involves a child of a single parent. This 12 year old boy's father died less than a year ago. His mom has started dating again (I believe this to be too soon). I told the boyfriend that they should be low-key in their dating but the boyfriend disagreed with me as he and the mother felt that they would be deceiving the child. Do you have any general dating guidelines that I could give to this mother and her new boyfriend so they don't upset this child too much? Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.

Dr. Romance replies

Hi, Tod:

I agree with you that the son shouldn't be aware his Mom is dating. She should introduce her new man as a "friend" and act accordingly in front of the son. The article " Dating Guidelines for Single Parents" may be helpful to her.  Also, my book, " The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again" has a whole chapter on dating as a single parent. If this Mom is not careful, she'll set up competition between her son and her boyfriend.

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