“We see and understand more about our behaviors. We come aware. And aware. And aware. . . Often, we feel uncertain about what to do with all this awareness.” - Melody Beattie
A friend of mine used to say that her awareness was like “Dawn finally breaking over Marblehead.” I’ve used that expression a lot in the more than dozen years since I first heard it. The beginnings of awareness are incredible. We start to feel as if we’ve been asleep for a million years. Suddenly we can see, really see, what other people are really up to. Whereas everything baffled us before, we now have clarity. Sometimes we feel we have too much clarity. It’s like being on a diet and losing some weight where nothing you own fits yet you are not at your goal weight yet so you have nothing to wear. It’s a feeling that you’re in an in-between stage but you need to get where you’re going and you don’t know how.GPYP is a program of 3 levels: observation, preparation and cultivation. We start to observe our thoughts, feelings and interactions with others. We learn to step back and look at the world around us and the people in it. Then we start to prepare to change things and later we cultivate that change.
Awareness is part of observation. Only by looking at, and seeing, can we understand what needs to be changed. But we can become overwhelmed with the massive amounts of information we’re suddenly receiving. It’s as if we can’t filter out the world and all the information. It becomes anxiety-producing and difficult to process all of this.
Many people run back to their old lives and clamp their hands over their ears at this point. They don’t want to KNOW anymore. They can’t go through with it. It’s too scary, too unhinging, too unfamiliar. Those who succeed in changing their lives are people who recognize that they are in an “in-between” stage and that it won’t last forever. You’ll learn what to do with all this “awareness” and it will be GOOD.
I used to have a long commute when I first started this work. It seemed I would think about what I wanted to think about as I got on the highway and then spend over an hour muddled in my head. As I got off the highway, I would suddenly gain some kind of insight to the thing I’d been mulling over for an hour without success. I used to joke to my friends that I was going to publish a book called “The On-Ramps and Off-Ramps of Life.” But the meat of the thing really happened while I was on the highway. I had no choice but to sit, muddled, because I couldn’t do much of anything else. Eventually I would have my “off-ramp insight” and feel as if I moved a bit. The next ride I would be muddled again. The time of awareness is truly a scary time but it’s also an exciting time. You know you are growing and changing if you continue to choose to deal with the anxiety and the unknown of change.
Reward yourself once a week with some “me-time”. Don’t let the work be complete drudgery. I used to spend one night a week taking a bubble bath, deep conditioning my hair, putting on a pair of cozy pajamas and climbing into bed with a trashy novel. For one night a week I stopped all the “work” and stopped all the thinking and just let myself be. I would buy flannel pajamas, expensive deep conditioners and bubble baths, fluffy comforters and candles. I would “go all out” for this ME night.
I had spent years going all out for other people and now I had one night a week where I turned my attention to ME. It’s not only a reward for doing all the work, but it’s an ESSENTIAL part of learning to be okay with you and slowly coming to terms with the fact that you deserve some good times too. Some time that is yours and yours alone. If you haven’t started affirming that yet, start today because you DO. Be good to YOU. Always.
“We see and understand more about our behaviors. We come aware. And aware. And aware. . . Often, we feel uncertain about what to do with all this awareness.” - Melody Beattie
A friend of mine used to say that her awareness was like “Dawn finally breaking over Marblehead.” I’ve used that expression a lot in the more than dozen years since I first heard it. The beginnings of awareness are incredible. We start to feel as if we’ve been asleep for a million years. Suddenly we can see, really see, what other people are really up to. Whereas everything baffled us before, we now have clarity. Sometimes we feel we have too much clarity. It’s like being on a diet and losing some weight where nothing you own fits yet you are not at your goal weight yet so you have nothing to wear. It’s a feeling that you’re in an in-between stage but you need to get where you’re going and you don’t know how.GPYP is a program of 3 levels: observation, preparation and cultivation. We start to observe our thoughts, feelings and interactions with others. We learn to step back and look at the world around us and the people in it. Then we start to prepare to change things and later we cultivate that change.
Awareness is part of observation. Only by looking at, and seeing, can we understand what needs to be changed. But we can become overwhelmed with the massive amounts of information we’re suddenly receiving. It’s as if we can’t filter out the world and all the information. It becomes anxiety-producing and difficult to process all of this.
Many people run back to their old lives and clamp their hands over their ears at this point. They don’t want to KNOW anymore. They can’t go through with it. It’s too scary, too unhinging, too unfamiliar. Those who succeed in changing their lives are people who recognize that they are in an “in-between” stage and that it won’t last forever. You’ll learn what to do with all this “awareness” and it will be GOOD.
I used to have a long commute when I first started this work. It seemed I would think about what I wanted to think about as I got on the highway and then spend over an hour muddled in my head. As I got off the highway, I would suddenly gain some kind of insight to the thing I’d been mulling over for an hour without success. I used to joke to my friends that I was going to publish a book called “The On-Ramps and Off-Ramps of Life.” But the meat of the thing really happened while I was on the highway. I had no choice but to sit, muddled, because I couldn’t do much of anything else. Eventually I would have my “off-ramp insight” and feel as if I moved a bit. The next ride I would be muddled again. The time of awareness is truly a scary time but it’s also an exciting time. You know you are growing and changing if you continue to choose to deal with the anxiety and the unknown of change.
Reward yourself once a week with some “me-time”. Don’t let the work be complete drudgery. I used to spend one night a week taking a bubble bath, deep conditioning my hair, putting on a pair of cozy pajamas and climbing into bed with a trashy novel. For one night a week I stopped all the “work” and stopped all the thinking and just let myself be. I would buy flannel pajamas, expensive deep conditioners and bubble baths, fluffy comforters and candles. I would “go all out” for this ME night.
I had spent years going all out for other people and now I had one night a week where I turned my attention to ME. It’s not only a reward for doing all the work, but it’s an ESSENTIAL part of learning to be okay with you and slowly coming to terms with the fact that you deserve some good times too. Some time that is yours and yours alone. If you haven’t started affirming that yet, start today because you DO. Be good to YOU. Always.