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We are not Victims

Posted Nov 01 2007 12:00am
Most people feel like a victim at some time in their lives. Everyone has been hurt in one way or another. We can hold on to that hurt, aiming our negative feelings and thoughts at the person who hurt us. That only makes us miserable. Resentment hurts the one who holds it.

No one can make us a victim without our permission. The way we allow others to treat us, the situations we put ourselves in, the people we allow in our lives, and how we regard ourselves can create or permit awful things to happen to us. I am not speaking here of terrorist attacks, random home invasions, rape, or things like this. Those are issues to look at in another way, at another time. Here, I am speaking of personal relationships, work relationships, and friendships. When we act like a doormat, people treat us like a doormat. When we feel worthless, people treat us accordingly. If we hang around mean people, they will be mean to us.

It is up to us as individuals to decide how we want to be treated. We must first value ourselves. It is not possible to overstate the importance of loving yourself. If you don't love yourself, you will not put yourself in loving situations. If you think you are worthless or in some way bad, you will create and allow situations where people treat you as if you are worthless and bad. You simply must learn to love yourself in order to be treated the way you want and deserve to be treated. (I will go into specific details about how to learn to love yourself in the next post.)

Part of putting an end to being a victim is letting go of the things that tie us emotionally to those that have caused us pain. The time for justification, resentment, blame, and regret has passed. We can no longer afford the luxury of refusing to take responsibility for everything in our lives. We must clear ourselves of disempowering attitudes and beliefs. The energy that radiates from us, whether positive or negative, draws to us more of the same. When we indulge in resentment, regret, blame, and anger, we radiate that energy to every one and everything around us, and everyone and everything responds accordingly. We cannot know peace in ourselves, our homes, our relationships, or our communities as long as we hold on to these negative states of mind and heart. We must be what we want to experience. To experience peace, we have to be peace. To experience love, we have to be love. To experience abundance, we have to be abundance. How can you be abundance? By living in a constant state of gratitude. By giving thanks always for all that you have. By believing that all your needs are met and your desires are being fulfilled, and even your healing is taking place right now.

May your heart be healed and your joy set free.
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