I attended an interesting teleconference yesterday I'd like to share a bit about.
It was by Chris Blazina, Ph.D. who has written a lot about gender differences and how to help men and women find common ground. The conference was presented to therapists as the topic relates to
therapy work with male clients.
Dr. Blazina identified "10 commandments of growing up male" which are: 1) There is only one way to be a man.
2) Fear the feminine.
3) Males must funnel all their feelings into sex or aggression.
4) Affection is always associated with sex.
5) A boy needs a male role model or his sense of being a man is flawed.
6) You big ape. Boy society is based on power, strength and paranoia.
7) If your father is rejecting, you must learn to please him.
8) If you don't please your mother, you must marry someone like her.
9) Being a man is a 24/7 job.
10) A man must follow the Commandments even if it causes him to be emotionally stunted or leads him off track.
He pointed out that throughout history there have been numerous ideas of how to "be a man" (cowboy, metrosexual, knight in tights) and that there are currently 6 male paradigms for masculinity currently operating in the U.S.
The bottom line: There isn't one way to be a man. Dr. Blazina went on to say that many men believe going to
therapy is a "surrendering of maleness" because it's not ok to "be broken."
I'd be curious to know if any men have any reaction to that.
Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
www.marintherapyandcounseling.comwww.lisakifttherapy.com
It was by Chris Blazina, Ph.D. who has written a lot about gender differences and how to help men and women find common ground. The conference was presented to therapists as the topic relates to therapy work with male clients.
Dr. Blazina identified "10 commandments of growing up male" which are:
1) There is only one way to be a man.
2) Fear the feminine.
3) Males must funnel all their feelings into sex or aggression.
4) Affection is always associated with sex.
5) A boy needs a male role model or his sense of being a man is flawed.
6) You big ape. Boy society is based on power, strength and paranoia.
7) If your father is rejecting, you must learn to please him.
8) If you don't please your mother, you must marry someone like her.
9) Being a man is a 24/7 job.
10) A man must follow the Commandments even if it causes him to be emotionally stunted or leads him off track.
He pointed out that throughout history there have been numerous ideas of how to "be a man" (cowboy, metrosexual, knight in tights) and that there are currently 6 male paradigms for masculinity currently operating in the U.S. The bottom line: There isn't one way to be a man.
Dr. Blazina went on to say that many men believe going to therapy is a "surrendering of maleness" because it's not ok to "be broken."
I'd be curious to know if any men have any reaction to that.
Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
www.marintherapyandcounseling.com
www.lisakifttherapy.com