by Julian Foxx
I have often heard members of The Seduction community express the idea that ending up in the 'friend zone' is sad news. Usually when I hear it mentioned in a workshop the fear becomes tangible. I'd like to permanently change how guys interpret what the 'Friend Zone' really is. It definitely isn't something you should be afraid of as long as you are the one in control of it. We're about to make friends with the 'friend zone' so hang on tight...
A while back I met a very hot redhead named Amy at a club. We really seemed to hit it off and I got what I considered to be a solid number close. Our first date was set. So the next night we met for mojitos at a little restaurant when I observed something odd; despite my best efforts there was a noticeable lack of chemistry between us. The fact is, no matter how good you get you are not going to vibe perfectly with every single woman you meet. So what now? This is where a little solid calibration comes in handy. I believe what many men would try is to 'push through' and continue attempting to create the chemistry with her until either it happens, or it doesn't and she blows you off. Sound familiar? So there we are sitting together in a plush leathery coach and I knew I was at that very crossroads. I really did want to take her home but I was aware if I continued to escalate that the chances of her blowing me off were very substantial. So I impulsively made the decision to try something new. I unleashed what I now call the 'Preemptive Friendzone' attack. Before she had a chance to reject me outright I very warmly and sincerely friendzoned her first. The warmth and caring with which I did it was the key. The objective wasn't to make her feel bad simply to feel like I rejected her first. My goal was to actually become friends with her. Let us briefly examine some of the more obvious benefits of having a hot female friend:
A: They will become an invaluable feedback resource for you. Who better to answer your questions about women and dating and all that stuff than a well practiced woman!
B: She becomes your Wing. You can and should assign them the job of hooking you up with other hot girls. Sorry guys, but I'll take one of my lady friends any day of the week over the best PUA wingman.
C: She may very well end up completely falling for you. As a matter of fact, it's quite likely to occur eventually. I believe the reason for this is that once we are 'just friends' with them we release a lot of the pressure on ourselves. We no longer feel that urgency to attract them or make them comfortable or do whatever it was that you were doing that wasn't working in the first place. I don't like clichés much but it actually becomes easier to just be yourself.
Now if there is one thing that a hot girl is not used to it's the guy telling her first that he just wants to be friends. That's definitely going to throw her for a loop and its all to your benefit. The trick is to really mean it. You should not use this technique and be thinking 'gonna get her in bed later, gonna get her in bed later.' Women are not stupid and she will most certainly detect if you have an ulterior motive. Just release her (at least for the time being;)as someone you are pursuing and just think about the dozens of other women she will introduce you to.
So I said to her, "First of all, I think you're very chill. And you're definitely very attractive too, I just feel like were really meant to be good buddies or something." Pay close attention to her reaction, it will almost always be poorly masked shock. And from here you will find that the transition to a new and mutually beneficial friendship is relatively simple. Providing you have some basic social skills she will most likely hang out with you again simply because you friend zoned her first and by doing so tipped the status seesaw more in your favor. Just make sure that you are not deceiving yourself here. Are you truly behaving like a buddy would when you are together or are you still 'gamin her?'
Here are a few telltale signs that indicate for me that I am really amongst friends: I burp a lot. I have lots of playful touching going on. I have no problem saying pretty offensive things. I am free to share my personal thoughts and feelings, etc... So just to sum things up: the friend zone should not ever be your goal initially. It is a last resort when facing fairly imminent failure in a courtship. That being said, you will find that cultivating hot female friends will have incredible benefits to your social life and love life as well.
Have fun,
Julian Foxx
PS: To this day Amy is still a good friend of mine somehow, even after I dated her sister;)
To take the most comprehensive 'Dating Skills Test' in the world, recently developed by Julian Foxx and Dr. Robert Epstein, check out:http://www.julianfoxx.com
I have often heard members of The Seduction community express the idea that ending up in the 'friend zone' is sad news. Usually when I hear it mentioned in a workshop the fear becomes tangible. I'd like to permanently change how guys interpret what the 'Friend Zone' really is. It definitely isn't something you should be afraid of as long as you are the one in control of it. We're about to make friends with the 'friend zone' so hang on tight...
A while back I met a very hot redhead named Amy at a club. We really seemed to hit it off and I got what I considered to be a solid number close. Our first date was set. So the next night we met for mojitos at a little restaurant when I observed something odd; despite my best efforts there was a noticeable lack of chemistry between us. The fact is, no matter how good you get you are not going to vibe perfectly with every single woman you meet. So what now? This is where a little solid calibration comes in handy. I believe what many men would try is to 'push through' and continue attempting to create the chemistry with her until either it happens, or it doesn't and she blows you off. Sound familiar? So there we are sitting together in a plush leathery coach and I knew I was at that very crossroads. I really did want to take her home but I was aware if I continued to escalate that the chances of her blowing me off were very substantial. So I impulsively made the decision to try something new. I unleashed what I now call the 'Preemptive Friendzone' attack. Before she had a chance to reject me outright I very warmly and sincerely friendzoned her first. The warmth and caring with which I did it was the key. The objective wasn't to make her feel bad simply to feel like I rejected her first. My goal was to actually become friends with her. Let us briefly examine some of the more obvious benefits of having a hot female friend:
A: They will become an invaluable feedback resource for you. Who better to answer your questions about women and dating and all that stuff than a well practiced woman!
B: She becomes your Wing. You can and should assign them the job of hooking you up with other hot girls. Sorry guys, but I'll take one of my lady friends any day of the week over the best PUA wingman.
C: She may very well end up completely falling for you. As a matter of fact, it's quite likely to occur eventually. I believe the reason for this is that once we are 'just friends' with them we release a lot of the pressure on ourselves. We no longer feel that urgency to attract them or make them comfortable or do whatever it was that you were doing that wasn't working in the first place. I don't like clichés much but it actually becomes easier to just be yourself.
Now if there is one thing that a hot girl is not used to it's the guy telling her first that he just wants to be friends. That's definitely going to throw her for a loop and its all to your benefit. The trick is to really mean it. You should not use this technique and be thinking 'gonna get her in bed later, gonna get her in bed later.' Women are not stupid and she will most certainly detect if you have an ulterior motive. Just release her (at least for the time being;)as someone you are pursuing and just think about the dozens of other women she will introduce you to.
So I said to her, "First of all, I think you're very chill. And you're definitely very attractive too, I just feel like were really meant to be good buddies or something." Pay close attention to her reaction, it will almost always be poorly masked shock. And from here you will find that the transition to a new and mutually beneficial friendship is relatively simple. Providing you have some basic social skills she will most likely hang out with you again simply because you friend zoned her first and by doing so tipped the status seesaw more in your favor. Just make sure that you are not deceiving yourself here. Are you truly behaving like a buddy would when you are together or are you still 'gamin her?'
Here are a few telltale signs that indicate for me that I am really amongst friends: I burp a lot. I have lots of playful touching going on. I have no problem saying pretty offensive things. I am free to share my personal thoughts and feelings, etc... So just to sum things up: the friend zone should not ever be your goal initially. It is a last resort when facing fairly imminent failure in a courtship. That being said, you will find that cultivating hot female friends will have incredible benefits to your social life and love life as well.
Have fun,
Julian Foxx
PS: To this day Amy is still a good friend of mine somehow, even after I dated her sister;)
To take the most comprehensive 'Dating Skills Test' in the world, recently developed by Julian Foxx and Dr. Robert Epstein, check out:http://www.julianfoxx.com