Dear Dr. Romance: Thank you for your recent article about women wanting to date younger men. I am a fortysomething woman whose fiance' died in my arms of heart failure three years ago. He was in his late sixties. Then I dated an ex-pro athlete who had a stroke and lost the use of his left side. My concern is that men are taking Viagra and other medications to enhance their sexual performance without checking with their physicians first. Often times these enhancers leave the man impotent or worse. I have to carry these memories around like airport baggage for the rest of my life and my sisters are now calling me ' The Black Widow' .
I want to date younger men because I now have this fear that every man I date will drop dead on me. No, I am not an older woman trying to maintain my youth through dating younger men, I' m just trying to avoid visiting my dates in the hospital. Again, thank you for pointing out an older woman' s perspective.
Dr Romance responds: I' m sorry for your losses. It would be nice if love followed rules, but I' m afraid it doesn' t, and if you' re attracted to a younger man, it might work; but you could find yourself attracted to another older man, too. You might find my article "Surviving Loss and Thriving Again" will help you heal and face the future with more hope.