The Art Of Approaching Women Anywhere Without Fear Of Rejection…
Posted Oct 21 2008 12:49pm
For a man, one of the most daunting prospects he can contemplate is that of walking up to a woman he doesn’t know, saying hi, then flirting with her. It sounds like such a simple procedure, but the truth of the matter is anything but simple.
For most men, approaching women is a tough task with very little room for mistakes or mess-ups. That is one of the reasons they fear the approach so much, because they do not want to fail.
So, what are the other reasons men hate approaching and talking to women and, more importantly, how can a guy successfully approach a woman and start talking to her without any fear of rejection or gut-wrenching feelings of nervousness?
They feel they lack the social skills needed to succeed. They don’t know what they’d talk about, how to make jokes, etc.
They are scared of looking like a desperate guy who is hitting on women
They are worried that other men will see what they are doing and socially punish them as a result
Fear of Rejection
So, first things first, why do men fear being rejected by women? If they don’t know the women they’re approaching, why should their opinions matter? Well, we all know that just because we don’t know somebody doesn’t mean we don’t care about what they think of us.
But the real reason men fear rejection is because the fear of rejection has been evolutionarily programmed into their brains. Like all other fears, it acts as a security device, which tries to prevent us from coming to any harm.
Hundreds of thousands of years ago, our ancestors lived in much smaller communities. Messing up with a woman in such a small tribe could easily destroy your chances of having kids. It’s really no wonder men still experience that pang of anxiety just before they walk up to an attractive woman with the intention, or hope, of talking to her.
Then come feelings of inadequacy. You could say that it’s because of feelings of inadequacy that men fear rejection. One leads to the other. Every man and woman has their own unique collection of personal inadequacies.
Regardless of what yours are, you’ll know what it feels like to think that they’re way too bad for any woman to look past them. Clearly this makes meeting a new woman very difficult.
Feelings of Inadequacy
The next reason on the above list follows on from the last two. First a man feels inadequate for some reason, then he fears being rejected and then, as a result of that, he avoids approaching new women and talking to them as much as possible.
This, of course, does nothing for his ability to successfully talk to, flirt with, and attract women. He avoids doing it and so avoids getting good at it.
The last two reasons are pretty self-explanatory. Because the guy feels inadequate and therefore inept at talking to women, he worries women will instantly identify him as a needy loser who wants to hit on and score with them. Clearly this is something he does not want to be seen as.