If you’re reading this, you’re probably single and ringing in the New Year wondering what will happen this year: will you be happily in love when 2011 rolls around? Are you in love now and wondering if you’ll be engaged this year? Are you breaking up or divorcing and wondering if you’ll be ready to date anytime soon? The answers are, of course, unanswerable because it all depends.
Where you’ll be in 2011 has a lot to do with how this year unfolds, and that has everything to do with your intentions of living your best life. I’m a big believer that we make our own destiny - that is, with regard to quality of life. The timing of the events in our lives is unknowable and uncontrollable. You may or may not be engaged, happily married, or even dating anyone when you ring in 2011. Over those events you have no real control because they involve the participation of other people - who have their own emotional timetables, wants, desires, dreams, and destinies.
What you have control over is how you live each day, so here’s the 2010 Challenge: to live your best life each day of this year regardless of the circumstances. Here’s how you can get started - in three easy to understand [though not so easy to implement] steps:
1. Honor and complete what was true for you in 2009. Invest a little time writing down what 2009 was all about for you - was it the year of your divorce? The year of your horrible break up? The year you finally got over your divorce or break up? Write it all down, share it with someone you trust, and have a ritual of completion - burn the sheets of paper, or shred them, and envision yourself releasing what those events were all about for you. Honor any grief you may still feel; but don’t get stuck in grief so that it turns to depression; if that happens, get counseling.
2. Set intentions for the year that are doable and in your control. Examples: Don’t set the intention to meet and marry your soul mate this year; instead, set the intention to be open to the possibility of meeting your soul mate this year, and having a healthy relationship if you do. If you’re in love right now, set the intention to move forward to the next step only if it is in yours and the other person’s highest and greatest good. Set the intention to find something positive in every new person you meet. See how this works? Intentions are all about mind set, not control.
3. Set three to five really important goals and track them through the year. Set a financial goal, a health goal, and a goal for relationship connection. Goals should be specific and measurable; i.e., achieve ideal weight of 145; earn $10,000 in bonus on top of my salary of $50,000; meet at least one new person every month; travel to a place I’ve never been to before.
Once you’ve set your intentions and goals, find others who are willing to do the same and discuss them periodically. Goals kept to yourself have the tendency to fade, while goals you set with others stay alive and moving forward. I have a team of three other people I meet with every Friday morning to talk about life and business goals. We call ourselves the SWOT team and our time together is invaluable. We keep each other on track with our goals and intentions.
Now, go and make it a great year! Stay tuned in to Singlescoach to help you achieve your relationship goals and intentions. Happy 2010! - Nina