Tension & Relaxation - The Secrets to Guaranteed Female Orgasms
Posted Aug 10 2009 4:57pm
Orgasms are something around 10% of females never have, whether it is while masturbating or having sex with a loved one. This is the reason why women consult with me. A large number of them start off with confusions concerning how to become more susceptible to orgasms.
Developing equilibrium between tension and relaxation during sexual intercourse is a key issue. But is it really possible to be both tensed up and relaxed simultaneously?
Tension Makes Orgasms Possible
Muscle contraction is the kind of tautness that helps women orgasm (scientifically known as ‘myotonia’). Many females who don’t have orgasms are under the wrong perception that they just have to lay there and relax. They have heard about the importance of being relaxed during sex but what they fail to realize is that tension in the muscles is very often just as important when it comes to reaching a climax.
A lot of females have reported to having been able to reach and orgasm by tensing certain areas of their bodies. Some contract their abdominal, leg and buttock muscles. Some have even reported success while also contracting their feet muscles. Even upper body tensing has been noted to have helped women achieve an orgasm at one point or the other.
In fact, the number of women who reach an orgasm with no muscle tension at all is very small. Incidentally, muscle tautness that happen in the lower pelvis play a very important part in being able to reach a climax. You see, during an orgasm the muscles that contract automatically are the same that need to be squeezed to discontinue the stream of pee mid-flow.
The group of muscles involved here are the pubococcygeus muscle group (PC muscles) and their conscious contraction is known as a Kegel exercise. To build up arousal while engaging in sexual exploits, many women tense these PC muscles. Tensing or contracting the various muscle groups pushes blood in to the parts of the body active during sex. (The flow of blood to the groin needs to be increased to initiate arousal.)
All this talk about muscle tension surely makes one ask where the relaxation phase comes into the picture!
Relaxing Your Mind
The answer to this question is this: relaxation occurs in the mind. Relaxation during sexual activities means that you should stop worrying or thinking about anything else. Just try to be in the moment and FEEL each pleasure that washes over your body as your lover titillates you.
If you’re having problems emptying your mind and relaxing, apply the “silent radio technique”. This is the same technique that is used in post offices and public areas where long lines form. They help keep hostility low despite the long wait that people have to undergo. It can be visualized as the Times Square board sign where words stream across a screen from the left to the right and then fade away from the screen. The screens usually carry items like news highlights, horoscopes and sports.
While the above mentioned technique is being used during sex, you may find that the repetition of a mantra like “I can stay in this pleasurable state for hours,” or “this feels fantastic!” in your mental silent radio helps in keeping your mind occupied with thoughts that foster arousal instead of entertaining thoughts that decrease arousal.
A very important aspect to learning how to be more orgasmic involves these two factors that may look contradictory but make a large difference when used together in helping the sexual process reach its desired outcome.