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Tantric Exercises: Releasing Past Partners

Posted Jan 27 2009 7:15pm
image courtesy of Healing Happens

Compartments has had a few excellent posts on burnout.

They reminded me of a Tantra exercise that helps release the connections of past partners whose energy you no longer want to keep in your body. It was presented in a women's group. We were told that esoteric thought is that all women keep a cord or energetic connection to every man they have slept with and that until we cut the cords, our energy is drained. And while I don't live in a world where I think anyone can do anything to me that I don't allow, this exercise has helped me feel better a number of times. I don't know if it also applies to men, but I got the impression that it does not. I can't help but think it a useful exercise for anyone to do, especially if you are having a hard time letting someone from your past go.

For this meditiation it is important, I think, to not think about if it works or how it works, but that you are aiming to feel better. You don't have to figure out if it is "real." Many people don't "see" when they do visualizations, they just feel or sense. It's all OK, there is no right way to do this.

If you are not familiar with the Chakra system (and there is lot to be familiar with but all that stuff is not important for the exercise) then here is a nano-primer-

The Chakras are energy vortexes in the body that send and receive energy. There are many different systems which say we have anywhere from four to twenty or more of them, but the system we are most familiar with is that there are seven main ones. There are located as follows:

1) base/root- location perineum, color red
2) above the pubic bone- orange
3) belly- yellow
4) heart- green
5) throat- blue
6) between the eyes- indigo
7) top of the head- violet or clear

Find a time when you can take upwards of an hour. Not that it is necessarily needed, but if you want to milk it, it is nice to have that leeway, especially if you are doing this for the first time or if you are really hurting. Turn off phone, TV, and tell everyone you want privacy. Light a candle, setting the intent to find peace, love and release.

Breathe deeply until you feel ready to begin. Then put all your consciousness at your perineum. Feel. Without forcing anything, see if some one comes to mind. Maybe there isn't, maybe there are tons of them, whatever.

See or imagine any cords that might exist, any connections you might feel that connect you to this person. They may be strings, they may be ropes. Let them be what they are, don't edit.

You see the relationship. You acknowledge both of your parts in the Dance. You feel the feelings it brings up and you don't judge the feelings (even if you end up judging, don't judge the judge). Just be.

If you find someone there that you love and want to keep connections to, then just feel the happies.

If you cannot remember names or faces but know that there is someone there or a number of people there, that is OK, too. Just imagine anything that feels OK with you to symbolize their presence. It all works. Just be with what comes up for you, whatever that is.

If you feel someone there that you no longer want there, then..you take your hands and hold them over the top of your head. Lace your fingers together so that your hands and arms create a "blade" so to speak, from shoulder to shoulder. Then, keeping your finders interlaced, the blade intact, take your arms and CHOP that cord. I usually make a noise of some sort to accompany it, but do what feels right. I accompany this with seeing my part of the cord coming back to me, and theirs going back to them. I also say something to the effect of "I release you, ________ with love," or whatever hits me in the moment.

And, if the relationship was particularly icky and you still have anger, and you are not at the place yet to let go of anger, then maybe you want to tell the person (in your mind's eye) that you are on the road to letting go of your anger as you don't want them to have a hold on you. You are cutting them now and will continue to cut the cord to them. You just want to let them go.

Know that these cords may come back if it was a particularly intense relationship. I had many sessions to release the HUGE (sucker was at least six inches across) rubbery, veiny umbilical cord that ran from my solar plexus to my ex. It required sawing many times to finally release that one. Sheesh.

Then work your way up through the rest of the chakras, doing the same thing. Different people might be in different places, the same person might show up in more than one chakra. It's always nice to journal after, as it is not easy to remember stuff when you come out of doing that stuff. It is often like a dream which fades with time.

Then, when done, sit with yourself and feel your wholeness, all of you back to you. Put out the candle. And, if you can find more time, figure out a way to continue to renew your energy in any way you do that for yourself.
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