Story about Tom Waits…story of about my parents…setting the story straight with me.
Posted Nov 13 2010 6:57pm
A few days ago I posted something about players never changing…I said that there is no woman out there that is ever going to come a long and suddenly plant conviction in a man.
It got a lot of response…some who agreed…some who thought I was being pessimistic.
Both got me thinking…
Last night I was listening to Tom Waits…as someone told me about the story of his life…the demons that drove him…the woman that drove out those demons…the love that took over and is driving him now.
Her name is Kathleen…the one that saved his life.
Today, I have done a bit of soul searching…wading into the depths of my indifference…realizing I am well over my head…wondering how I have let it go this far.
When I heard the sentence, “She like…saved his life.” , my first thought was-” That is what every man believes is out there…their ‘Kathleen’…the one that will come along and conjure up better versions of the men they are choosing to be.”
Today…as I lay in my bed…it was on my mind…and just when the skepticism was about to drown out any last trace of the old bleeding heart I used to have when it comes to love…it hit me-
I saw my own “Tom Waits and Kathleen Brennon” miracle…first hand…right at home.
My Dad was an alcoholic…for the first 12 years of my life. My home was a war zone. I have shared this before in my writing…
My Dad had been dating a woman named “Brenda” when he met my Mother. They were 17 years old. Brenda echoed my Dads wayward way of being…she was on the same level…she went to the pool halls with him…she smoked her cigarettes and drank her liquor with him…their demons played well together.
My Mother was the opposite of my Father and she was a spit fire when it came to fighting for what they had.
My Mother never gave up. She loved..and when loving didn’t work…she fought…and when fighting didn’t work…she begged…she did everything…everything but give up.
A good mixture of blood, sweat, tears and guilt…for years.
My Father stopped drinking when I was 12. I have also shared that story…my parents did what it took to heal themselves…their relationship…and when my Father speaks of my Mother it is always to say that if it not for her…he would have drank himself to death. He would have lost it all.
There was something in my Dad that knew he would not self-destruct…there was enough self- love and respect that with my Mother’s blood, sweat, tears and guilt made the catalyst for change.
Although I have never spoken the words that I don’t believe in the miracle of love anymore…I do believe that those words have ricocheted off the walls of my inner dwellings…echoing loud enough to call me back to disbelief every time I start to remember that old bleeding heart…
Today, November 13, 2010, I say this-
I do believe in love. I do believe in the power of love to drive out the demons of the heart. I do believe there is an alchemy…a chemistry…that two people can share that can create a bond so strong…it is enough to hold on when those storms rage…enough to change a man to be a better version of who he is choosing to be. Enough to make a woman believe again.
Not many people get to witness the kind of miracle I did growing up…between my parents.
Maybe Tom Waits on an iPod last night was an angel in disguise…reminding me of what I have forgotten…left behind…taken my eyes from…
The power of love…takes two people….takes the willingness to hold on…takes no less than everything you’ve got…but in the end, it trumps all.