It’s unfortunate, but cheating husbands are a reality, and it seems like it’s more permissible now than it ever was to cheat on your spouse.
1. Admit that it’s possible. If you’ve found this page via a search engine, you may already be ready to admit this. If not, then you need to realize that you will probably find any reason to justify your husband’s actions until you can admit that it’s possible for him to cheat.
2. Observe personal behavioral changes. Has your husband suddenly developed an interest in finer clothes, better restaurants, and new activities, and he can’t explain where this interest came from? Has he picked up a new cologne that you didn’t recommend?
3. Working extra hours. Many guys work extra hours, but if his schedule suddenly changes and he is unspecific about what the extra hours entail, then you could have a problem. Extra trips and extra business lunches and dinners can also be a warning sign. If all of the extra hours aren’t adding up to extra pay or extra responsibility (i.e. a promotion), then that could be a warning sign.
4. Observe relationship changes. Was your husband affectionate before and suddenly he stopped? Is he suddenly more affectionate than before? He could be acting out guilt over the affair. Is he ignoring you or stopping conversations short for no apparent reason? Does he appear distracted or is he picking fights?
5. Check the tech. Computers and cellphones leave trails. Check browser histories to see if your husband is visiting dating sites or unknown email addresses. Check cellphone call histories and see if there are repeated calls by numbers you don’t recognize.
6. Reality check. Are you finding hair that isn’t yours? Lipstick? Perfume scents? Collect the evidence and keep a log of it.
The best thing you can do for yourself and your husband is keep a cool head. Jobs ebb and flow in responsibility. Marriage relationships change in their emotional dynamic. Men can develop late life interest in looking better or discovering new hobbies. Just because there is change or challenges, that doesn’t necessarily indicate an affair.
Cheating also don’t necessarily have to mean the end of your marriage. You can recover from an affair, although it can be long and difficult. Marriage is sacred and special, and if your cheating spouse is willing to admit their mistakes and make it work, you can have a long, happy marriage afterward.
I’d love to hear from couples who have recovered from infidelity, or from anyone who knows couples who have been able to put their marriages back together. Leave a comment below or send an email to cory (@) agoodhusband.net.