Him:She could have told me she was going to leave. After all we’ve been together for seven years, and she’d knows I don’t mean it when yell at her. I’m just letting off steam and then I calm down. I didn’t think she really meant for me to stop. I miss her so much and I miss the kids. What can I do to get her to change her mind?
Her:I want to come back, but he just doesn’t get it. The yelling scares me and the kids and all he cares about is having me in bed. He just loves the kids, but I did tell him that if he didn’t change I would leave. I told him at least 10 times that that just shows how much he listens to me.
No, I don’t have another man in my life. At this point it’s tough, just to live. This cramped apartment is all I can afford, and it’s tough be a single mom. But I don’t think he can really change.
Him:I know I can change — you’ve got to give me a chance. Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it. Just tell me!
Her:I want you to think about what I say. I just told you again, what I want — but do you listen? No! Just quit yelling at me and talk to me like a person.
Him:I just yell for a minute, when I get upset. The kids get over it. And it shouldn’t bother you so much.
Me:But it does upset her. I do imagine what it’s like from her point of view. Have you ever been yelled at?
Him:She yells all the time. I can’t do anything right. There’s no way to please her. She yells, just like my mom did when I was a kid.
Me:What does she yell about?
Her:I just asked him to pick up the stuff he leaves around. Sometimes it’s tough with his dishes in the sink and to come help me with the kids baths. I need to be louder he can’t hear me over the TV, but he doesn’t listen anyway.
Him:I help — you’re just never satisfied.
Me:Slow down! I want you to try something different. Do you really want this marriage to work?