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Romance? What is Romance?

Posted Feb 10 2009 10:15am

Last week’s free flower giveaway was a bit of an eye opener for me. When I asked men to leave their most romantic story, I was surprised that so many of the answers were so…not romantic. Initially, I thought it was just me, but then my wife commented on it after reading the entries…then a friend of mine was like, “Dude, the guys who read your blog are totally not romantic. Guess that’s why they think you can help them, huh?”

At first, I was a little offended at my friend’s insinuation, but after some thought I was like, “Well, Cory, you started this site because you thought it could be a resource.” So…yeah, I guess there are quite a few guys out there who have no idea that men & women think different things are romantic.

Men see romance as a task to complete.

Is it true? Many of the comments on that post were about the way that men proposed to their wives. A few were about what they did for their wives before they were married. I can’t be sure, but I don’t think any of the stories occurred within the last 2 - 3 years.

Is romance a list of set procedures? Can you maximize the return on investment of a romantic gesture and calculate out what you can get with the least amount of effort? I am guessing that any women reading this are repelled just by the idea of that last sentence.

Romance as relationship maintenance.

Responsible men know that they need to get their car serviced. You change the oil every 5000 miles, put gas in, and get the brakes checked. Romance is the equivilant of relationship maintenance. Take your wife out for a date, bring her a gift for no reason, praise her regularly, and touch her lovingly. Regular romance is better than any single gesture of love over time.

Last week, when I asked for a story of the most romantic thing you’ve done for your wife, perhaps I did you all a bit of a disservice by putting attention on that singular event. Attention should really be paid to w hat are you doing now?

What does ongoing romance mean to you?

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