It sounds like you might be getting angry because you’re partner isn’t listening to you unless you get to that level. We all want to be “heard” by others but unfortunately many of us are not very good at listening.
Try telling your partner that it’s upsetting to you that it seems as though the only way he listens is when you raise your voice and you’d like for him to work on hearing you before it gets to that level. It doesn’t need to be this way in your relationship but it might simply require better communication to him of your needs. Hopefully he’s open to you and to adjusting his behavior as well.