Relationship Advice: Help! I’m not part of his life plan and he wants to move out and sofa surf!
Posted Nov 21 2008 10:20am
Catherine asks: "I am six years into it with an emotionally unavailable man. It is not that he was dishonest about his unavailability, or that there were any of the red flags missing. He was separated, had lost a a baby, was in the process of divorcing his wife. But we got along so well, had very similar worldview, politics, lifestyle, music, really a great time was had. At least I have that.
Now he has told me that he is thinking about moving out of his apartment. This is where we spend most of our time together, because it has been my custom to ride my bike or bus over, stopping by the grocery store to pick up something to cook. I am an outstanding cook, and it is one of my main ways of expressing love, for my friends and family as well as him. He doesn't like my house because it is old, worn down, and I'm kind of slobby. I have asked for a more grown-up domestic middle-aged type lifestyle and romance, but he is firm about the No Cohabitation Rule, and besides I'm messy.