I’m going to comment on some of the comments, but please use this thread to ask questions about therapy and I’ll try to answer.
1. I talk about choosing a therapist in the book. (pp. 106-107) and you can come back here and ask questions.
2. I don’t like a therapist who says “I don’t believe in x therapy.” Maybe “I don’t practice…” but NOT “I don’t believe in…” That is patently unhelpful to clients. (unless they don’t believe in shock therapy or deprivation therapy or lobotomies. Those would be okay things to object to [as do I]).
3. GPYP is a mix of cognitive-behavioral and psychodynamic therapy and theory with grief/mourning theory in there as well as codependency and some 12 step ideas and Eastern philosophies thrown is as well as some of my own creations for working through breakup loss.
4. I came to this conclusion (of how all this fits together) after many years of researching and when, as a therapist, I couldn’t quite fit myself into any “mode” that already existed (even multimodal theory is more structured and done a certain way more than I liked).
Not that GPYP is unstructured. It is not. That is why I wrote the book….to lay it out so that you can understand and SEE the structure and how it uses cognitive (i.e affirmations and positive self-talk as well as obsession breakers), behavioral (ie act as if) and psychodynamic (ie inventories) etc fit altogether. That is kind of private therapy I practiced when I was in Boston (I worked as a diagnostic psychiatric emergency services clinician as my paid job). I really found the combination of practice and theory that I used to work very well but not everyone offers such a mixture, even my wonderful therapists that I had did not.
5. There are different times that you need more of a focus on different things but it’s important to keep things in balance. If you have a psychodynamic therapist, try to read books/attend seminars on cognitive work (or just do it from the GPYB book). If you have a cognitive therapist, try to find someone (even a friend) to help you work the inventories.
6. Here in NYC I have recommended certain therapists to readers and not always had good results. I don’t know what kind of therapist someone is going to be (or if you will click with them) based on reputation (except that they come recommended). If you know of a good therapist in NY/NJ/CT or anywhere, really, please let me know so I can pass on referrals. Please let me know what you like/dislike about the person you are recommending.
7. Some therapists (like Great Northwest Counseling in Portland OR) have a link to this blog or to the GPYB book. That might be the sign of a great therapist. ;)
8. I am expanding private coaching and 8 week breakup groups in NYC. I am also going to do a Grief Recovery Outreach Program (for all kinds of loss) as designed by the Grief Recovery Institute (where I certified as a grief counselor) in the summer.
I don’t know if that helps anyone who is looking for working through right now, but shoot me an email if you are interested in that.
9. If you have specific questions about counseling and modes of therapy, please ask here. And please specify if you’re in the US or not. :)