Quantity vs. Quality – What Constitutes A “Good” Sex Life?
Posted Nov 27 2009 10:00pm
Many men and women seem to think that a “good” sex life consists of one thing – lots of sex. In fact, guys that don’t have sex very often tend to get burned by their male friends who supposedly have sex more often. You see it all the time on television and in movies – having lots of sex means you have a great sex life, right? So does how much sex you have really play that big a part in how good your sex life is? Quality sex has to count for something, right?
Lots Of Sex, All The Time
Of course, women are often socially branded with the idea that to please their partners, they need to have sex all the time. In fact, women go into relationships thinking that men want sex daily or at least several times a week. According to social influence, partners that only have sex once a week or even less are considered to have a poor sex life. Think about it though – how often is daily sex great sex? How often is sex a few times a week absoultely ravishing, leaving you begging for more? Rarely. In fact, having sex more often can result in shorter sex times, less orgasms and an overall decrease in the quality of your sex.
What Is Good Sex?
Good sex – or great sex even – comes from having the time and energy to devote to being fully present during sex, giving your partner pleasure, as well as keeping yourself open to receiving pleasure as well. How many women and men throw themselves into a “quickie” every night or every couple of nights just to say they had sex? Just to have a quick orgasm? Who really wants to devote an hour or more to having fabulous sex every night, after getting home from work and putting dinner on the table? Especially if you have kids! Many couples have actually stopped having sex as often because of the daily stresses in life, but they still have the attitude that lots of sex equals a good sex life. Therefore, with the mindset that they have a poor sex life because they don’t have sex often enough, the times they do have sex are dampened by the wrong attitude!
How To Break The Vicious Cycle
Sex is about quality, not quantity. So you only have time to have sex once a week. Or once every two weeks even! But if you and your partner are completely present during sex and completely devoted to each other’s pleasure – as well as receiving pleasure of your own – it will likely result in awesome sex. Say you have sex even once a month – but every month, that sex brings you closer to your partner and more in touch with yourself after a night of passion and pleasure. Does that mean you have a bad sex life? Not at all – quite the opposite in fact!
If you want to break the bad-sex-often cycle, it’s time to change your attitude about sex. Stop worrying about how often you have sex and make sure that when you do have sex, you and your partner have enough time and emotional energy to give to each other completely. Regardless of how many times you have sex, if every time you have sex you have great sex, you have a great sex life!