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Post Mother's Day Reality

Posted Jul 26 2008 10:18am
OK. So Mother's Day has come and gone and I'm still a mom.

Of course I love and adore my children and grand children, but in truth, I admit to moments of annoyance and wonder doesn't mothering ever stop? Here I am in my sixties, my kids grown and supposedly on their own, except one really isn't. I understand where she is in her life and why. I respect her growing pains and determination to develop her own life. However, this daughter still needs me. And, although I am there for her in the ways I find appropriate and supportive, I am not present for her in the ways she thinks I should or wants me to be. I am concerned for her. She is far from home and although she misses home terribly, she has decided to plant her roots elsewhere.

It's part of the challenge that many twenty something's go through as they separate from Mom (and Dad). They push away with one hand and pull with the other. This one wants financial independence, but deep down expects Mom to help out in ways that make sense to her, but not to me. Of course I want to be there for her and am. At the same time the word "No" comes out of my mouth more often than I wish.

My other children either have never been this way or have already grown past this independence struggle. Or, maybe I'm just that much older where I more easily tire of not having her fully grown? In the long run I know she is going through the developmental process of growing from one stage to another and that we will both come out the other side. But, while yesterday was a special day where I was feted and honored, I am ready for some consistent old fashioned respect. In Japan they have an Honor Your Elder's Day and the entire country closes down. I'm ready to have an honor your Mom's day every day. Yesterday was lovely. Today real life returns. No one ever told me mothering never stops.
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