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Poison(ed) Ivy

Posted May 06 2009 1:33pm
Hello Dr. Tina,
I am so happy that I had the opportunity of coming across your response to “How do I get over him” & her story.  
The REASON that this is SO funny is this:EVERYONE, yes EVERYONE has been TRYING and FAILING at having me reunite with one of my exes…orSomething like that.   My asinine brother took out pictures of my ex-husband of 9 years and started guilt-tripping me. The funny thing is this:   I remained on good terms with ALL of my exes for reasons.   I have NO Interest in runninginto anyone who I shared even a short period of my life with and having drama.   It serves no good.   Hence…the good termtheory.   I WILL say that upon certain visits, they have all made advances (some which may have been allowed…others that Iturned the other cheek at).
I can honestly say that this policy has served me for all of these years, yet when I was laid-off from my career position back in June of2004, it has been a never-ending cycle of nosey people getting overly-involved in my romantic life.  I am MORE in love with my work and the joy it brings than that of any ex-men…Lol.   Sorry, but it’s true.Most would be able to tell you that when I am in a romantic relationship, I can be VERY good to my man.   However, with a situation such as this, I don’t see being much of anything to him (whoever he will eventually be).   I vow to NOT be in aromantic relationship until I have MY life and MY happiness back.   That’s a promise that I have made to myself (and I REFUSE to break it). Seems fair, right?
Poison(ed) Ivy

Dr. Romance replies: Hi, Ivy:

You must be surrounded with people who love you and worry about you.  Yes, they may be heavy-handed about trying to get you romantically connected, and I know it's annoying, but keep in mind that they're trying to help.  The best thing to do is to tell them what kind of help you want.  Say, "Thanks for caring about me; but if you really want to help, what I need is a job, not a man; and definitely not someone who didn't work out the first time." 

I think your focus on getting your life back is right on.  More power to you.  You need to feel solid in your life in order to find the right relationship.  When you're ready to find someone, try reading my Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. I'm sure it will help you.

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