Part of the GPYP program is “act as if” meaning act as if you are already where you want to be.
When I was newly single and started dating and going to parties alone and work functions alone, it was HARD! I had been married all of my adult life and now I was 30 years old and had no idea how to go somewhere alone and be okay with it.
Not only did I not know how to do it but I felt as if the whole world was part of a couple and I wasn’t. It took me a long time to realize that the world IS NOT full of couples and I found that I could go places along and have a BETTER time because I wasn’t with someone.
But in the beginning it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to walk into a room and feel self-conscious.
I struggled with it a lot. I was not ready for a relationship but I was not ready to tackle functions by myself. My therapist helped coach me through it, telling me to walk into a room AS IF I owned it.
Walk into a room AS IF everyone was waiting for me to make a grand entrance.
It’s not about being egotistical or conceited or full of yourself, it’s about having QUIET CONFIDENCE that you are you and you are okay.
Later on, after I had made a habit of “acting as if” and studied successful people in graduate school, I found that a common denominator among all successful people is that they ACT like a winner before they actually win.
Many times confidence comes from ACTING like you’re confident. Many times that confidence “aura” helps you to get yourself into a situation and be okay with that situation. It works VERY WELL. Act as if…whatever you WANT to be…and you will be it.
We talk a lot on this blog and in GPYP about feelings and thinking, but we don’t emphasize ACTING a lot. Acting is a very very important piece of the puzzle.
Using the GPYP concepts of
· Observation · Preparation · Cultivation
We learn to ACT AS IF.
Go to your journal. Think about what successful people look like and what they act like.
REMEMBER: winners are people who ignore the astronomical odds of getting to first place. People who walk through the fear anyway.
The FIRST thing to do is IGNORE the odds AGAINST you and any other negatives. Focusing on that will JUST defeat you.
focus on the negative. Focus on the positive.
Second, think about what winners look like when they walk into a room:
They look confident, they smile, they want to let you know they deserve to be there.
Think about other people who have to get over being afraid and somehow seem to convince people they know what they’re doing.
Even if you are fearful, do it anyway. Walk into a room brimming with confidence even if you are terrified inside. People DON’T KNOW you’re scared! Act as if you are NOT.
As the commercial says, Feel The Fear and DO IT Anyway!
Look the Part!
It is not just confidence you want to project but your actual physical appearance.
Think about what you want to achieve in your life. Is it a promotion? Do you need to look like a supervisor if that is the next step in your career? Do you need to pay more attention to your clothing, your hair, your grooming, your accessories? Is it time to dump the tattered old briefcase?
You want to look like a person others are attracted to. What kind of clothing, hairstyle, grooming will facilitate that?
Think about it.
Observe winners and winning styles in your journal and then prepare to be a winner. Think about what winners do.
Cultivate the winning formula
Think about it. Turn “the look” into affirmations.
Continually affirm your confidence several times a day.
Again, think about it. Make it your own.
Look like a winner and BE a winner!
When your confidence wanes or you feel on shaky ground, journal about it. Write about past issues and incidences. Monitor your behavior
Make this type of observation a part of your journaling but DO NOTGET STUCK in it.