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Orgasm Tips: How To Build Her Orgasm In 3 Phases

Posted Jun 13 2011 10:00am

For women, achieving orgasm is a process, and a fun one at that.  Foreplay is an essential part of reaching orgasm for a woman. All of the kissing, touching, licking, and caressing are vital parts of sex for the fairer sex, not just stuff you do until you cum. She feels intense delight at the touch of your lips and the stroke of your finger tips.

In fact, there are instances where a woman enjoys the sexual experience, even if she hasn’t climaxed. The more you make a woman feel like she’s special, like you’re really into her and that you’re super turned on by her, the more she will enjoy having sex without without having an orgasm. However, those instances are few and far between, so it’s best if you know how to make give a woman the climax of her life.

There is not a single technique that will absolutely guarantee your woman’s satisfaction, but rather a building of mood and touch that eventually send her over the edge.  Since there’s no “right” way to do it that applies to all women, it’s a bit of a difficult concept for men to grasp, since a warm vagina, or even a fist full of hand lotion, is all it really takes to get where you need to be. Perhaps a better understanding of the phases a woman goes through to reach orgasm is in order.

This is the part when she just decided she wants to have sex with you.  When she reaches this stage, her breathing is slightly heavier than normal, and her pulse has quickened.  This can happen at any time – even without you knowing that she wants to have sex with you. That’s why paying attention to her body language is so important! If you notice that she seems to be more “into” you, has started touching you softly or licking her lips, some serious making out just may be in order at this point. While you’re kissing her, let your hands wander all over her body.

Run your fingers through her hair, stroke her back, and even get in a bit of nipple play. If your hands head south of the border, avoid direct contact with her clitoris. Make sure you use slow, gentle strokes. Rubbing your palm slowly and deeply over her vaginal lips is a great way to give her a hint of what’s to come without irritating the parts of her vagina that are ultra sensitive.

Now things are really getting heated up. Her breathing has turned into almost a pant, and she’s probably let out some audible moans.  When she’s in this phase, you can make more direct contact with the clitoris, but don’t just hang out there.  Tease your partner by keeping more indirect contact going, brushing the head of the clitoris every once in a while. Rub the sides of her clitoris along the shaft, and then pinch the head lightly with the pads of your fingers.

Make sure that either your fingers are lubed up before you touch her, or that she’s very wet and you can use her natural lubrication to wet your fingers. Touching her clitoris with hard, dry fingers isn’t going to feel good to her at all. A dab of lube will go a long way here. If you don’t want to finger her, these same concepts can be applied to oral sex as well.

You can also vary strokes and speeds at this point. You may want to rub the head of the clitoris in a circular motion at a high frequency, and then slowly rub the shaft up and down. Experiment with different strokes and play around with her – listen to her cues to let you know which strokes she likes the most.

Phase III is typically signaled by her screaming, “Faster! Faster!”  Now is not the time to mess around or change what you’re doing. Whatever it was that you were doing when she reached this phase is the exact same thing you need to do to finish her up. Some guys get the idea that they need to try something else – for example, when a woman gets closer to orgasm, he may decide that instead of flicking the head of the clitoris with his tongue, that he’s going to lick slowly around her labia. Resist the temptation to change what you’re doing!

Get in there, and get the job done! Zero in on that one spot, and rub it like you mean it. Use quick, circular motions right on the head of the clitoris until you hear her scream in ecstasy! If you don’t change what you’re doing when she starts to enter the third phase and keep at it, following her directions for harder, softer, faster, etc., you’ll bring her to climax in no time.

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