Women objectify themselves as sex objects. ( Intercourse, Andrea Dworkin, p 140) They also objectify others. ( Women & Love, St. Martin' s Press mass market edition, 1989, Shere Hite, p 129) From childhood, women seek status through affiliation by objectifying one another as status-objects: "(G)irls get status by being friends with high-status girls: the cheerleaders, the pretty ones, the ones who are popular with boys." ( You Just Don' t Understand, Ballantine Books Edition, June 1991, Deborah Tannen, Ph.D., p 107)
As adults, women objectify men as success objects. The means for impressing other women. ( Women Vs. Women, Tara Roth Madden, p 155) Effectively, they use men to tell one another, "Here is my man: with him, I buy cars, clothes, entertainment, vacations, trips to the beauty parlor and, if I' m so inclined, motherhood or early retirement." The consequences of this are devastating:
The consequences of turning women into sex objects include rape; the consequences of turning men into success objects includes war. -- Why Men Are The Way They Are, Berkley edition/September 1988, Warren Farrell, Ph.D., p 251
Women know most men see them as sex objects, and most women agree this is bad. But when confronted with how they objectify men, they deny it, pointing to surveys that prove they value a good sense of humor above money, and sensitivity and kindness above power.
But men know they can be kind, caring, loving and sensitive, and while these characteristics may earn them the status of "just friends" with most women, their many women friends would never consider having sex with them. Women would rather have sex with a hot sexy steamy jerk while they search for their trophy husband who' s name is Mr. Right. Men know the more money, status, prestige and power they have, the more willing most women will be to give them conditional love and sex. Most men have always known this, but few realize the connection between how women objectify them, and female hostility toward men.
Women' s increasing independence, combined with how they objectify men as walking wallets, is the reason for much of their hostility toward men: The monetary basis for their conditional "love" for men is gone. What remains is the resentment they feel toward most men for being unable to fulfill their need for "walking wallets." In many ways men today are superfluous in a women' s mind.
Women say, "Men are limited to hunting, finding their way home, fire gazing and providing sperm--that' s it."
Women are largely dishonest in defining their true unhealthy feelings about men. Women know it' s wise to be politically correct to save face. At the same time many feminists have deemed men the "outcasts of society".
When more men realize this, how will they feel? Will they resent it? Will male hostility toward women grow to match female hostility toward men? That depends. In response to the feminist movement, many men gave up objectifying women as sex objects to look to the deeper beauty that grows with time. Women must do this, too. They must stop objectifying men and embrace the equality they "say" they want. It' s the only way to stem the tide of resentment men will otherwise feel. My fear is that women won' t care how men will feel.
But everyone already knows this --so what' s new? And unfortunately it' s already started. Men in large numbers are rebelling against women and especially marriage for this and many other reasons. Since only 25% of all relationships succeed I suspect 25% of women have found a trophy husband who will stay with them and give them status. Of course women who see themselves as not having the looks of a movie star tend to lower their standards and accept men with lower status. And, many women are attracted to a man' s potential to give her future status.
W omen are most attracted to these six things in men:
1) Means (Wealth, possessions, gifts to them or providing forthem)
2) Power (Influence, Leadership, provide safety)
4) Looks (especially height)
5) Exclusivity (Royalty, already married, hard to get, affiliation)
So men, if you don' t have these characteristics you either need to work on them or keep away from women. You are likely not measure up to their requirements.
You have to ask yourself, "Is getting into a relationship worth it only to fulfill a women' s need to objectify me in order for her to gain her desired status." "How much conditional love can I handle?" Or, would I just prefer to be relegated to the status of a friend? Maybe skip the relationship trap.
A woman talking about the man she would like to marry stressed the necessity:
-of his having a good economic future
-and of being the type of person who would be a responsible involved father.
Although her standards were certainly understandable, without realizing it she was describing men as
She didn' t mention personal qualities but described instead a man' s ability "to perform."
Women choose men based on symbols and function not as people. Not very romantic is it.
Then after marriage women become very unhappy with their men because they' re not fulfilling them emotionally. Women then force a divorce. Very strange.