It’s that time of the month again!
Before we go onto the chips, these are the reasons we count chips:
1) to reward ourselves for doing it. It’s a big deal and needs to be treated like a big deal.
No contact (NC) is truly the key to moving on. It’s a big, important topic which is why it’s the first chapter in the book .
Even if you work with, have children with, mutual friends with, live in a small community with, NC is possible in that you only speak when you have to, you don’t get into emotional issues, everything is very business like. Again, the advice to do this is in the GPYB book.
If you don’t share anything like that, going NC is very important: CUT OFF ALL CONTACT.
Anyway, long before the book came out we gave NC chips for staying NC for various lengths of time (as they do in 12-step programs). We also talk about issues and struggles for those not NC a long time. We have 24 hour chips which means for this 24 hours you will commit to NC!
If you break NC or respond to your NC-breaking bananahead ex, you don’t “go back to square one.” You have had progress along the way and it’s easier once you’ve done it a while to do it again. So shower and get right back to NC. And tell us what you’ve learned Dorothy.
So leave your concerns, issues, questions, stories here and
Come get your chips!!!
24 hours: white
Pick up your chip! Tell us what chip you get and how you did it. Share your NC power of example! Talk about how long you’ve been NC and what it’s been like for you.
I would also suggest, in the way of being good to you, to BUY yourself an actual chip, a real chip and keep it on your dresser/bureau or some other prominent place as a reminder of how WELL you are doing. Standard poker chips are fine but the gold ones can be a nice round gold piece from a jewelry store or buy a chain with a nice round gold pendant. If you’ve been a NC you definitely deserve something nice. There have been other suggestions on here such as keeping a jar and filling it with something nice for every day NC or some other way to mark the time and see how strong you are. Make your symbol REAL and not just virtual! And TELL US what you did or bought or how you celebrated!
For some ideas go to THIS PAGE and share yours
If you’re struggling with NC, talk about your biggest challenges to NC and what is standing in your way and if you need help/support.
What are your challenges? What are your issues? We are all here for each other!
Susan J. Elliott, J.D., M.Ed.
Author: Getting Past Your Breakup: How To Turn A Devastating Loss Into The Best Thing That Ever Happened To You (Da Capo 2009)
Order the book HERE
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