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Not Having Enough Sex? Here’s The Secret To Increasing Her Sex Drive

Posted Dec 23 2008 12:58pm

One of the most common points of conflict for couples in a long-term relationship is the loss of sexual desire for the woman.

The loss of sex drive for women may occur for a variety of reasons, some of which may be physiological, but putting all those aside for another conversation, it may surprise you to learn that what I hear from many of the women I work with in my practice is that one of the primary causes for loss of desire is unmet needs.

As they tell me their story, they are not usually aware it’s their unmet needs that is the culprit of their dilemma, but it is what we uncover as we explore their situation further.

Why Women Lose Their Sex Drive

A great deal of women lose their sex drive for one very simple reason she is not enjoying the sex.  When sex is not pleasurable for the woman, she responds by withdrawing and shutting down sexually.  Think about it, would you want to have sex if it weren’t satisfying?

Sex is not enjoyable for many women, because not only are her sexual needs not being met adequately, but neither are her emotional needs and for the woman, both are equally important.

Why aren’t these needs being met, you ask?  Because many men and women alike don’t truly understand what it is a woman needs. 

A lot of couples are not aware that the sexual needs and biological responses of men and women are quite different and it is essential that they understand these crucial differences to have a sexual relationship that is equally satisfying for both partners.

Increase Her Sex Drive by Increasing Her Pleasure

Solving her sex drive problem should be a joint effort. It should not rest on his or her shoulders alone.  However, if you’re a man reading this page I’d like to make you aware that there is a simple solution to keeping her sexual desires alive that is totally within your control.  Take matters into your own hands and make sex irresistible for her.

Dazzle her by focusing on her needs. Blow her mind by getting to know her body better than she does. Help her expand her horizons to places she’s never gone before and you’ll be viewed as an amazing lover that she deeply appreciates. Once she sees how enjoyable sex can be, she’ll become more willing to explore and be adventurous. 

She doesn’t know what she’s missing, but once she discovers it with you, she’ll be grateful that you took her on the journey and this will strengthen her bond with you. Coach and encourage her to express her needs to you and show you what is pleasurable for her.

Deepening The Connection

Fill her emotional needs by deepening your connection with her.  Make her feel special, appreciated, valued and important outside the bedroom as well as inside. Shower her with affection and give her adequate foreplay,

When sex is more satisfying for her, it benefits the man as well.  She’s going to be more willing and even eager to give you pleasure in the way you desire, such as more oral sex. She’ll be willing to have sex more often and you may find that she’ll even be the one initiating it.

Phrases like "I have a headache," or "I’m too tired," will no longer be part of her vocabulary. Your sexual adventures will be more satisfying for both of you.  When you share a strong sexual bond that is mutually satisfying, it keeps your sex life fresh and exciting, prevents your love from eroding or diminishing and you develop a stronger and more fulfilling relationship all around.

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