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Not Feeling the Vibe? Ten Simple Ways to Fall in Love, Again

Posted Jul 16 2009 10:12pm
not feeling the vibe, fall in love, out of love, the art of love and intimacy, love, relationships, advice, marriage, need help, marriage and love, revive my marriage, marriage advice, marriage help, relationship help, the art of intimacy
Not feeling the vibe?

Can't get excited about your partner?

Feel the love is dying?

Need help?

Glad you checked in today!

I've posted several articles on falling in love and rekindling the romance but it has been a while and I have had a request to share some really specific and concrete things you can do today, right now, or this week to change the dynamics of your relationship and start feeling excited about your partner.

Simple, fun, and effective! Here you go....

Ten simple ways to fall in love, again:

1. Enjoy memories. We know that our emotions are connected to thoughts, so when we reflect on good, happy memories we recreate the emotions and feelings in our body/mind that went along with the experience. Our great feelings are associated with those we shared the experiences, so while we don't want to live in the past, enjoying our memories together is a simple way to enjoy our partners.

2. Plan for the future and share your dreams. Having something to look forward to is one of the keys to living a happy life. We humans seem to need goals, dreams, hope, and a purpose. Without them we tend to get stuck; life may seem boring or purposeless. When we share our dreams, work toward our goals and envision a future with our partner, we tend to work toward this future. Again, this doesn't mean we don't live in the present and enjoy the moment, it just means we hold our dreams in our hearts.

3. Live in the present. Of course this comes next. Enjoy the moment. Take each second of beauty and expand it, bask in it, allow it to fill your soul. Don't let even one minute of joy, laughter, or pleasure be taken for granted. Allow yourself to treasure the time you have with your partner; look for those moments of quiet peace, or vibrant joy, or wild excitement. If they are few and far between, make more of them!

4. Demonstrate appreciation. Show your partner you care. Tell your spouse you love him. Do everything you can to make sure your beloved knows (doesn't have to guess), that you adore and cherish her. Don't assume they know and don't think that because you mentioned it a few years ago they remember.

5. Look for the good in your partner. Remember when you first met? You saw nothing wrong with your significant other. She was fabulous; he was perfect. Of course in time we tend to see a little more of each other and that impression may fade just a tad so consciously find (not just look) for the great qualities and traits of your mate. Don't just come up with a thing or two, how about write down a hundred wonderful things about your partner, then share it!

6. Engage in new activities. Humans tend to thrive on new experiences. There is something innate in us where we want to learn, grow, and expand our knowledge, understanding, or talents. It seems to me that we often get into ruts with our partners, doing the same things over and over again when one of the great ways to get out of the rut and to put some vibrancy into the relationship is to get out and do something new. Try something really unusual, or out of the ordinary for a change!

7. Have lots of fun. It is so much to laugh together. I'm thinking it is nearly impossible to not love those who make us laugh and those whose days we can brighten. Lighten up, find the humor in everything, and have lots of fun.

8. Work on projects together. Be a team! Find something that you and your partner can create together. When a couple is working in unison to bring forth something beneficial to their family, their neighborhood, their community, the world, or even animals, they can create a bond that is incredibly powerful. When working toward an important goal, we tend to see the greatness in each other, find ways to support one another, and have a deeper sense of the importance and strength of the relationship.

9. Remember what is truly important in life. Think about what is important in the long term, not what will give you a moment of pleasure. Reflect on how you want your life to be remembered when you are ninety years old. Ponder what you truly value in life. Remind yourself of your core personal values or morals. It might be that you move from wanting more excitement in your life right now to holding a desire for true and lifelong devotion and love.

10. Give attention and support your beloved. It sounds strange but we know that the more we give, care, or serve another the more we love them; NOT the more they love us but the more we love them. We love those to whom we give love and care and attention and service. The more you give the more you love. Cool!

Don't give up. So long as you believe the relationship is worth saving, so long as you want the relationship to be healed I hold it as possible. Remember relationships are not the fantasy of perfect bliss for eterntiy. They are a dynamic process that may have some low and high moments; they have their struggles and challenges. The key to keeping the relationship alive is to move through the problems and not let them take over your life and your love!

I invite you to check out my other articles on this topic!
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