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Need answers on affair


Posted by Jerseygirllost

Not going to make this long..Married 25 yrs. to younger man - have 2 grown daughters. This is 2nd marriage, first husband was abusive, ended in divorce. I tried so hard to make my 2nd marriage work, did everything I could. Worked full time, raised 2 daughters, took care of my sick father, did everything for my husband. Never appreciated. 6 years ago he had an affair. For 9 months he put me thru hell, didn't want to leave his job or transfer the co-worker he had affair with.  Went to counseling, he had to resign from job. Things were going ok, but I lost a lot of the love I had for him over the years I am unhappy in my marriage, but afraid to be alone. I work full time.

I went to a class reunion and met someone I went to school with. We started talking on internet. This is almost 2 yrs. ago. The talking led to flirting and finally we met and became intimate. I have never cheated on my ex or current husband before. I have so much in common with this man. We could talk about anything on the phone. He is also married. If I see him, only once in a while I am happy. Don't need sex to be with him. I have never met a man so gentle, appreciates me, loves me for me. I went to a therapist to sort things out. I think about him day and night, he the same. We have tried to break off our relationship several times, but only to get back together again.  I am lost without him, I love him so. But it just seems it is never the right time for us getting together.

 I am torn about leaving my husband. - not the right thing to do. I don't want to hurt people. I always wind up hurting myself.  About a year ago, I told him I had enough of him being disrespectful and not appriciating me. Told him I was going to leave him. He tried changing after that. But why did I have to tell him that. But the love is lost. I can't be intimate with him. I long to be with the man I love, the one I am having the affair with.

The therapist and my true friends have told me to do what makes me happy for a change. Someone on here give me some insight, please.  

 

 
Answers (1)
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Think of your future and kids before you take some decision. Whatever decision you take is very important, so choose which suits you the best for your life.
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