Moving on from Martial Separation and Divorce Mens General Guide
Posted Oct 11 2010 4:09am
Moving on from marital separation and divorce is no easy task. It does not matter whether you’re a man or a woman, the fact still remains that divorce will still affect you mentally and emotionally. The only big difference between the two is that women are able to count on more organizations and support groups while men generally are left to fend for themselves. If you find yourself getting stuck to this seemingly endless cycle of pain and misery and are finding it difficult to leave behind and move on with your life, this short guide will be able to help.
The Stages of Divorce
The emotional stages involved in divorce can be pretty much likened to losing a loved one. In a sense, you are indeed losing a loved one with the only difference being the fact that they are very much still there but you will no longer be able to interact the same way or be together. This experience will take you to the many stages of divorce which includes:
· Denial – When you first encounter the idea of divorce, the whole thing might seem unreal. You will have trouble understanding what is happening and may pretend that everything is still fine.
· Anger – Once reality hits, it hits really hard leaving you dazed, confused and angry. Revenge will most likely occupy your mind and lashing out will be very common.
· Bargaining – Once your anger dies down it is usually then replaced by desperation. Often a last ditch attempt at winning your ex will come into play, if this doesn’t work, you’ll desperately try other methods just to salvage whatever you can of your former life.
· Depression – Sadness and depression will often follow once the dust has settled and all the anger and desperation are gone. This is one of the most difficult stages in divorce, one that has mired many men from recovering fully.
· Acceptance – The good news is that almost, if not all men eventually reach the stage of acceptance. The length of recovery will generally depend on the individual and how he Is able to understand the many emotional and mental factors surrounding the issue.
While emotions such as anger and depression may be easy to see, the reason as to why these emotions come into existence is because of deeper underlying psychological elements.
To cut the long story short, your ego (which is how you see yourself with regards to society) has taken a huge blow. To move on and survive it must now change radically which is any case will cause an emotional and mental imbalance as the old and the new struggle for dominance.
This is also tied to your low self-esteem resulting from being divorced. Combine the two together and you will generally end up with a power hungry monster that will constantly demand to be fed. This deadly combination can trap you in a cycle of behavior that prevents you from moving on with your life and leads you to self destruction unless otherwise acted upon.
Forgiveness is the final stage to being completely over divorce. This will at first seem like an impossible task especially when you are still living in the post divorce hell but nonetheless it is what you need to achieve in order to avoid being haunted by your failed marriage forever.
Forgiving those who have done you wrong does not mean that you condone their actions or forget about what has happened either. It just means that you no longer hold anger or resentment over the divorce and that you are able to accept the situation even if you are still unable to understand what has happened.
For more detailed information regarding the aspects of moving on from marital separation and divorce click on the link below for a comprehensive guide on divorce recovery specifically designed just for men.