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Moo goo gai pan and love...

Posted Feb 22 2011 2:29pm
Moo goo gai pan and love... 2011 has not quite been what I expected it would be...

With the start of a new beginning...I thought I would start the year with some triumphant accomplishment...some good news...some brilliant display of what is to come the next 11 months.

Instead...like a comedian up on stage getting heckled...I have had endings thrown at me...loss of writings from the past 3 years...people leaving...water heaters breaking and leaking...

The first week of January...I am sad to admit...I went two days without a shower. Not because of the water heater...because I didn't want to get out of bed...that is me being honest. The snow didn't help.

Tom Waits is the only thing I wanted to listen to...and only the slow ones.

I finally got it together...with this one realization that somehow brought relief...

I...Amy...absolutely know nothing and have nothing figured out. I have insights, yes. Aha moments, yes. But at the end of the day...none of us has any of it figured out...

I learned a lot of valuable lessons in 2010.

The most valuable being: I am not as tough as I try to appear to be.

The very things I say I don't need...yea...guess what...I do.

This is all good...and a good way to start the year, I can see now...

Taking a few layers of BS off...a little closer to real.

Even now, as I write this...Tom is in the background...

“I'm gonna love you...till the wheels come off...oh yea...”

This year...I have committed to this one thing...

Finally being open to learning what love is. To me. Not to my parents. Not to my friends. Not to my mentors. TO ME...

One thing I have noticed is that in 2011...the requests you put forth...the thoughts you think...the feelings you feel...it is almost like the sky above...the ethers...heaven...the Universe...how ever you want to call it...hired a multitude of angelic servers...and the service is 5 star...it comes out the moment you ordered it...just as you ordered it...

So, to end this...I will play like a fortune cookie and say...

“ Be careful what you wish for...you will find you get it...exactly as you asked for it...so ask wisely my friends...as every thought, wish, prayer, feeling...is a request...do remember this.”

I will do the same...now I want some Moo goo gai pan.

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